diy natural laundry soap

yes!  diy time again!  i've been making my own laundry soap for over a year now.  it's biodegradable, nasty chemical free, and good for my sensitive skin.  we also stopped using fabric softener or dryer sheets for some time - all they do is coat your clothes with chemicals.  white vinegar makes a nice softener - just put it in the rinse cycle.  static cling has been an issue.  some people swear by tin foil balls in the dryer, but that doesn't seem okay to me.  the wool dryer balls i made really do help, but they don't eliminate all the static.  i just purchased seventh generation dryer sheets that are all natural and whatnot.  i'm going to try cutting them in thirds to see if that helps.

the one thing that really ruins my all natural laundry smorgasbord is awesome husband @_antgas and his love of the smell of gain.  i buy those gain scent boosters when they go on sale and sprinkle some in with the sheets and towels.  i don't love the ingredients, but it's not as bad as the way we used to do laundry.  and it's a lot cheaper!  i use a 40oz canister to hold my laundry detergent.  i'm not good at measuring or counting.  so there.

so here's the breakdown for how much this shit costs me:
1 bar of dr. bronner's soap (i use almond): $4.09
arm & hammer washing soda, 55oz: $3.69 (only .067¢ an ounce)
borax, 76oz: $4.49 (it's in the big container.  i threw out the box.  it costs .059¢ an ounce)
oxybrite 32oz: $5.99 (.187¢ an ounce)

oxybrite is basically all natural oxy clean.  i've found it at natural/health food stores and some walgreens carry it.  borax and washing soda will be on the bottom shelf in the laundry aisle.  you can use any castile soap you like - nothing too perfumey or filled with chemicals or moisturizers, like don't use dove.

1.  grate your soap.  if you use the smaller, finer side of the grater, it will take FOREVER OMG SERIOUSLY FOREVER.  i use the larger side (the side we use for cheese) and it makes adorable little soap curls...

2.  get a food processor.  if you don't use one, the soap will not get to a powdery consistency and may not dissolve well in warm/cold water washes.  

3.  i put in 1/2 cup of soap curls, 1/2 cup of borax, and 1/2 cup of washing soap.  if you're using oxybrite, add a scoop to each batch in the food processor.  i don't smush the soap curls in either, i loosely fill the cup.  don't pack them in like you're measuring brown sugar.  if you're keeping track, i have about a cup and a half of dry ingredients in here.  i have a teensy cuisinart; if you have a larger one, you can probably put more in at a time.  ALSO feel free to add a tablespoon or two of baking soda if it makes you feel better.  it makes me feel better.

7.  pulse the heck out of it.  if you have fucking stones of borax, either crush them by hand or pick them out and throw them at people.  DO NOT try to powder the soap without washing soda or borax. they help the soap get like powdery.  without other dry ingredients, the soap will just smush up and break your blender, which is why you will have to use a food processor.  this may or may not have happened to me.  

5.  pour your powdery soapy stuff into your laundry detergent container.  repeat until you're out of soap curls.  

6.  TADA!  you have laundry soap.  find a scoop, buy a scoop, whatever.  i have a cute little scoop that i stole from one of @_antgas' old workout powder supplement crap things.  i use the double and triple loaders in the laundromat and use 2 tablespoons per load.  i'd estimate those are extra large loads; if you do smaller loads or have a medium-largeish home washer, you can probably use a bit less.  maybe 1.5tbsp.

now, i think i used about 14 ounces each of borax and washing soda, and maybe a 1/4 cup of oxybrite and baking soda.  like i said, i don't measure.  i'm assuming this is how much i used because it's a 40 ounce container.  so i might have used a bit less than this, but whatever.  here's the breakdown for one 40oz container of my laundry soap...

1 bar of dr. bronner's soap (i use almond): $4.09
arm & hammer washing soda, appx. 14oz: $0.94
borax, appx. 14oz: $0.83
oxybrite, appx. 2oz: $0.37

a grand total of $6.23!  two tablespoons is about an ounce, so you should be able to do around 40 loads of laundry with this.  that works out to 16¢ a load!!  i know you can get tide or all or whatever on sale and spend about 20¢ a load - doesn't seem like a great savings, right?  BUT IT'S ALL NATURAL.  it's safe for HE machines, it doesn't have a fuckton of chemicals, it's safe for septic systems and the water table, and works well on @_antgas' mechanic dirty clothes.  does it take out all the diesel fuel stains and shit?  no, but neither did ANY of the other detergents we've used.

so there you have it.  my natural, easy to make laundry soap.  it takes me about 20 minutes to make from start to finish.  it makes me feel better about what's soaking into our clothes, what's draining into the water supply, and doesn't make my clothes smell funny or itch or anything like that. you can find tons of different recipes for laundry soap.  some call for different types of soap, like fels naptha laundry soap.  it's supposed to be excellent on grease stains, but it contains animal fats so i don't use it.  some recipes call for one bar of soap and only one cup each of borax and washing soda.  some call for two parts EACH of borax and washing soda to one part bar soap.  this is the recipe i've been using and i love it.

it will not make suds.  like not at all.  if you've ever washed with dr. bronner's or other natural castile soaps, you may be familiar with the low sudsing of these soaps.  that's what makes this safe for HE machines - low suds.  i do all of our laundry at a laundromat and never see suds in our wash.  and if you're wondering about white vinegar in the rinse cycle as a softener, it does help.  it helps rinse out any residual soap in the clothes.  and it's so cheap.  i use white vinegar for everything now - fabric softener/rinse aid in the laundry, rinse aid in the dishwasher, household cleaning, clearing slow drains (when mixed with baking soda).  it's natural, it's easy, and it's cheap.

let me know if you try my laundry soap, and let me know what you think!

some days i hate life

i don't know what it is with me.

i just deleted someone that i considered one of my best friends mere weeks ago from my life.

we met by chance, when i was looking for someone to watch my clowder of cats while i went to disney with awesome husband @_antgas, my brother, and sisterfromanothermister.  i wanted someone who was professional - not just someone to watch my cats.  someone who wouldn't rob me, who would know what to do in a cat-related emergency, and maybe even take in the mail.

i found the company online last minute, like early january 2012.  she set up an appointment to meet us, my cats, and see the house.  when she came in, i introduced her to my husband.  she questioned our last name, i said what it was, and she said, 'i get your mail'.

just like that.  'i get your mail'.

she had purchased my mother's house in 2007.  the house we lived in when we got married, the house with the kitchen we redid, the house where we had so many fun times as a family.  she lived there.  and still got our mail almost 6 years later.

most of my cats liked her, and we secured her services for our vacation.  it seemed so funny, 'such a small world' kind of moment.

sometime in march of that year, i think, we hung out socially.  we got along like logs on fire.  it was hysterical.  even her husband and awesome husband @_antgas got along.  we all liked a lot of the same things, had similar senses of humor.  we all loved animals, the same cartoons.  and we lived like 5 blocks away from each other.

one of her dogs was fear aggressive.  she never wanted us to go near him, afraid that something would happen.  she'd give us treats to throw toward the dog when he barked at us.  we weren't afraid. after a few weeks, we finally convinced her to let us try interacting with him.  he ended up loving us.  she said we were two of the first and only people that he trusted.  i loved that feeling, i loved hearing how excited the dog would get when she said 'aunt steph's coming over! uncle ant's coming over!'  i loved brining him - and her other dogs and cats - presents and treats.  i loved how when she came over, she wanted to see the cats, interact with them, love them.

even more, i loved how it was when we spent time alone together.  snuggling with dogs and cats on the couch, shopping more than we probably should have, going out for sushi or frozen yogurt or starbucks.  we both had issues.  she was so supportive of me, i tried to be supportive of her.  she complimented me and i always brushed it off.  she taught me to shut the fuck up and take the compliment.  it was someone i could be myself with.  completely myself.  the pants could come off at this house.

when something happened and i needed someone, she'd fit me in.  when something happened and she needed someone, i tried to be that someone.  often she didn't want me to come over or meet her or whatever.  i wanted to be there for her the way i felt she was there for me.  i wanted to be the kind of friend to her i felt she was to me.

last summer, she went through some of her own shit.  she admitted that she withdrew from me, from some other people.  it was only a few weeks, but it upset me because i knew she didn't withdraw from everyone.  the first time we hung out again, in september, it was a bit strained.  i was trying to feel my way back to the relationship; she seemed to be doing the same.  i tried to act like we were back to normal: want to go shopping, want to go to dinner, want to snuggle with dogs.  she'd make plans with me sometimes, but i felt like she wasn't making time for me like she was before.  i tried to back off, but i missed spending time with her.  she owns her own business and i know sometimes shit happens: she'd had to cancel or move plans a few times before.  but this fall, it felt like it happened more often than not.  i started feeling like i wasn't as important to her as she was to me any more.

then on january 10-11, we had a big miscommunication.  i thought she had to check with her hubby about hanging out, she thought i said my hubby couldn't hang out.  wires got crossed.  instead of straightening them out, when she told me she made other plans, i told her how i felt.  i told her that i get it, and that it was done, but that i had been feeling more and more like she was canceling on me more often than not.  how i'm such a planner and it bugs me when plans change last minute, and how it made me sad and depressed when stuff like this happened.  i told her that it made me feel like she made time for others, but not for me.  i told her my truth at the time - looking back, i don't know if i should have.  maybe i should have waited and thought it out, maybe i should have said it a different way, whatever.

she apologized for making me feel that way.  she said she didn't intend to hurt me - i knew that.  she said that she guessed some things had changed since the summer, but not because of anything i did.  she said she hadn't really thought about it.  then she had to go because she had a sick dog, but signed off 'i'm sorry for how i made you feel and will talk about it more with you soon... xo'.

i stopped seeing her online.  she was never on facebook chat, or other social media sites, unless she was mentioning her sick dog.  i know that was a huge handful and she had shit going on - i gave her space.  i thought maybe she needed space.  she said she wanted to talk about it with me... i believed her.

last wednesday, i just missed her so much.  i had seen her being more active on social media, and thought maybe things were settling down for her.  i messaged her, saying it made me sad that we still hadn't talked.

no response.  not for two days.

i started feeling frantic.  what did i do?  i texted her; no response or acknowledgement or anything.  i messaged her on facebook again, asking if she was avoiding me, telling her i thought i should give her time, telling her i missed her.  nothing.  i tried to be a little cute, asking her if she wanted to meet for frozen yogurt or sushi, sending through cute pusheen pictures.  nothing.  i then told her it was obvious she was now ignoring me, and i didn't know what i did to deserve that.  i apologized if i'd hurt her, stating that would never have been my intention.

i spent hours crying, trying not to cry, crying some more.  trying not to cry, asking awesome husband what i did wrong, crying some more.  i spent a lot of the weekend trying not to think about her ignoring me, trying not to cry, trying not to feel.  i emailed her a heartfelt letter, asking her to let me know what i did, baring my heart.  i cried some more when i kept not getting a response.

last night, i sent her this message:

     Steph Gasseriously. i text you, message you, email you and you keep ignoring me? what's going on? 

Steph Gas

and it's obvious you're on fb and available to chat so you must be seeing my name come up and ignoring it. i just don't know what i did. i go back and forth between missing you so much that i just want to keep messaging you and being so angry that you're treating me like this.

 

Steph Gas

just to put it out there, i'm on the verge of deleting you from all of my social media. it makes me sad to see you commenting on mutual friend's things and ignoring me. since you're ignoring me for some reason, i'm curious as to why you haven't just deleted me from your life. maybe i'm still hoping that you'll start talking to me; maybe that's wishful thinking. i don't know why you've made this choice, all i know is that you made it. you never gave me a chance.

i deleted her from my facebook.  i unfollowed her twitter, instagram, and pinterest.  it makes me sad to see her comment on mutual friend's things, especially right under one of my comments, and know she is purposefully, willfully ignoring me for no reason that i can discern.  i'm sure she has a reason, but she's not sharing it with me.

i'm going to try not to cry over her any more.  someone posted something online that i stole because it really resonated with me on sunday, when i was trying not to cry about it...

   

if she can't even take a moment to respond to any of my contact attempts, even if it's just 'leave me the fuck alone', then she's not who i thought she was.  i deserve this.  i deserve respect, i deserve love, and i deserve someone's time.

i'll try not to cry about her any more.