Friday, October 31, 2014

yeah, so...

i know.

it's been, what, over three months?

i've been busy.  tired.  ugh.

school.  working full time.  being sick and fatigued from rheumatoid arthritis.

things are going well.  i'm tired but happy -  my brother is getting married today.  i'm excited and already tired.

work is good.  i've been plugging along and am now working evenings with legal clients - people with DWI arrests, CPS involvement.

i'm in school - my last semester.  i'll graduate in january and will have the opportunity to walk in a cap and gown and receive my diploma in may.  i haven't decided if i want to do that yet but i think i do.

and i'm also thinking about masters programs.  i think i might go for an MSW.  amazing, since five years ago i wasn't even thinking about school.

i think it's going to be a rough day.  amazing and fun and exciting, but tiring and missing mom.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

i have a commitment issue.

i can't blog regularly.

i just don't know what my problem is.  i have so much to say, but i just don't write it out.

work has been amazing.  getting paid to help people kick substance abuse is rewarding and frustrating and terrifying and fulfilling.  i don't love watching people pee in cups, i hate being lied to, and i'm learning to identify the master manipulators sooner rather than later.  my background in customer service/admin and having owned my own business mean i'm a pro at the paperwork side of it, even though much of it is on the computer.  actually, that might be why i'm so good at it.  i find it pretty easy to figure out how to do everything on the computer.  much of the stuff is intuitive for me; it makes sense.

i'm only working 19 hours a week and am desperate for more hours.  as it is, i've been working a lot for free.  i work 4 days a week and never take my 30 minute lunch: that's 2 hours of free work a week.  on mondays, i had gotten into the habit of staying up to 2 hours late for free.  during the week it's not uncommon for me to stay at least 30 minutes late.  and on fridays, well anywhere from 1-2 hours late has been the norm.

have you kept up with that?  that's 7-8 hours of FREE WORK every week.

three or four hours of my time every week is expected to go to supervision or training, leaving me around 15 hours to see 7 or 8 clients (an hour a pop), run two groups (at least 3 hours total), and complete at least two intake assessments (about 5 hours).  if you add it up, it just about works.

if that was all i did.  that doesn't take into account the urine testing i have to do for my clients and other clients.  it doesn't account for extra paperwork, like treatment planning or admission/discharge crap.  it doesn't include time for calling probation officers and waiting for call backs and touching base with other counselors or faxing child protection.... on and on and on.

so, yeah.  i do about 26-27 hours of work a week.  and i know there's a 28 hour position in other locations... we just don't have the budget for it at our location.  damn it.  damn it all.

i've decided i can't get burned out.  i can't be continually taken advantage of.  so i've decided i have to leave closer to my scheduled time.  this week, i actually put my 30 minute lunch on my computer scheduler every day.  i try to stop working; today i managed to take almost 20 minutes looking away from my computer and doing not much work-related crap; i messed around on my phone.  i left 40 minutes late yesterday and about 25 minutes late today.  i took some time to really consider my schedule and see how i can move appointments around to better suit leaving on time.

my thought is that if i ONLY work the 19 (okay, maybe 21) hours a week, i won't be able to tackle any additional 'stuff'; hell, i may barely be able to tackle my stuff.  then they'll see that i either need a smaller caseload (booooo) or more hours (yaaaaaay).

it's strange, sort of.  having a job i love so much that i don't mind working for free.   because that's not it - i don't really mind working for free.  it's just i'd rather they pay me for it.  and if i keep doing it for free, they'll never realize they need to pay me for it.

i've thought about taking another part time job.  i'm not sure that will work very well, but i'd like the extra money.  it would be nice to have a bucketful of money to take to florida next fall.