i've got hives, they're multiplying.

i've been trying to save this up to have a big, happy blog post.  but i can't.  because things are happening/not happening and i'm really fucking itchy.

the last time i really had hives was when i was getting two of my wisdom teeth out, the only two i had.  one just popped out - they didn't even need to cut my gums - and the other had it's roots wrapped around another molar.  i was terrified of going under anesthesia and was convinced there was a good possibility that i'd die.

obvs, i didn't.  but it was still pretty traumatic to me.

now, you all know i've been applying for jobs.  as much as i love piercing - and i really love piercing - i need a job that has benefits.  awesome husband (should i just start calling him @_antgas?) wants to be a nurse.  instead of a diesel mechanic.  which i'm pretty sure qualifies as a mid life crisis (i'll have to google that in a bit).  but that involves school and not working full time because nursing school is, like, five days a week and the practical day is from 7am-2pm.  so he is hoping to cut back his hours at the shop OR become a personal trainer (omg seriously, this is what i'm dealing with) and make his work hours fit around his school hours.  because he wants to go back to school full time so he can get his RN in two years and get a job in the industry and go on to his bachelors in nursing.

but but but anyway.  i have to get a job that has benefits so i can, you know.  have benefits.  because happy pills and tarzipan don't pay for themselves.  and since my drug dealer/doctor recently doubled my dosage, it's even pricier to be normal.  instead of taking one 50mg pill a day, i'm taking one or two 50mg pills a day (he said i may not want to take two a day every day.  i'm with him).  even with our insurance, that's like $150 a month.  i can't even think about what it would cost without insurance.

anyway again.  i've been looking for a job.  preferably customer service or data entry.  i applied a couple of places that are social-work-y like planned parenthood, but i don't technically have a degree in anything yet.  so they don't love me.  i get it.

turns out the data entry job i had before and when i got married was hiring.  and i still know people that work there so i applied away and got a call for an interview within a week.  it was terrifying.  they changed buildings since i left and the new one is in a block of office buildings called jericho quadrangle (i'm assuming there are four buildings.  yes, assuming, you'll see why i didn't pay attention soon).  when my mom moved to new york right before she died, she had a job with a company in jericho quadrangle.  i was like, weird.  but still.

so i show up for the interview and drive around the parking lot looking for a spot.  some of the spots were reserved for different companies, including one called aon.  it was familiar but i couldn't tell why and i was nervous so i parked and went inside.  checking the directory, i realized why aon sounded familiar: aon is the parent company of the travel insurance company my mother was working for.  i had to communicate with them when she died.  i took that as a good sign, that mom might have been looking out for me.

the first interview seemed to go really well.  i was interviewed by a guy i used to work with and it was fun.  the new building seemed really nice and i was superexcited when he told me they'd call me back early next week (my interview was on a thursday).  i hobbled out on my 4" wedge heels, smiling, and got in the elevator.

that monday i got a call to come back for a second interview.  i was so excited!  this was july 2 and they wanted me to come back july 5.  i started planning what i should wear (different shoes, for one) and thought about how i'd make it through three days waiting.  thursday i went for the second interview and interviewed with two people.  i thought it went exceptionally well and, i mean, i know the job already.  why wouldn't they hire me, right?  i walked out to the elevators on the third floor and pressed the button.  there were a couple of people standing talking at the entrance to the only other suite on the floor, and i looked over just because sometimes you happen to do that.  that suite?

it was aon affininty berkely travel.  the travel insurance company my mom was working for when she died.

it made me sad and happy at the same time.  i felt like mom was trying to say something to me.  i had a dream with her in it that night, which i also took as a good sign.  they had told me they had a couple more people to interview and would call me early in the week.

it's wednesday.  i still haven't heard from them.  i was hoping to hear from them on monday, but no one wants to do shit on mondays.  so i was like, i'll hear from them tuesday.  i started getting itchy monday night.  not bad, but a bit itchy.  i set up to have all the phone calls to the house number ring my cell phone too, so even if i was out or at the shop i could take the call.

tuesday morning, i woke up itchy and excited.  i figured it would be the day.  i really want this job because i want awesome husband/@_antgas to be able to pursue his dreams like i've started pursuing mine (OMG I KNOW IT SOUNDS LAME).  i know there are a lot of opportunities with the company and i know it's a great company to work for and i know they have great benefits and i know i would not hate the job and i know i would rock the fucking socks off the job and i know i'm probably overqualified for the job.

it's an entry level data entry job.  i got hired for the same job 11 years ago with a bunch of food service and a little customer service experience.  i am now 12 days away from my associate of arts, have gained a lot more customer service experience, as well as a/r and a/p experience, have managed others, have supervised and been responsible for customer satisfaction for a group of 80+ agents, and have owned my own company.

this occurred to me yesterday morning.  so i started itching even more.  and then i went to the shop and my phone didn't ring.  i did a couple of piercings and kept itching.  by the time i got home, my feet, ankles, and thighs were sofuckingitchy and i was trying not to freak out because i'm unsure they'll hire me now.

i've stopped filling out applications and sending out my resume.  i was turned down by two other customer service positions in the area.  i sent out about 18 resumes to other customer service and data entry jobs.  and the job i found in a homeless shelter that would basically be perfect based on my degree?  over 5K other people IN THE AREA applied for it.

i started itching more.  this morning, my elbows and upper arms joined in.  and now my back it itchy.  i'm trying to just remain calm and not itch, but it's after 3pm eastern time and they still haven't called.  they'd call if they weren't going to hire me, right?  people do that?  the other two did.

so i'm going to sit here and itch until i get some word.  want to follow my itching and find out the status of my jobs first?  follow me @stephgas on twitter.  want to see pictures of my cats and stupid shit i see around the town?  follow me @stephgas on instagram.  want to stalk me?  foursquare.

it's so easy to be a stalker, thanks to the internet.  too bad i can't get a job as a stalker.