i keep looking at this bag in my bedroom. it's like half full of clothes and shit that awesome husband and i need to get rid of. and we just leave it there. open. because we keep meaning to go through our drawers and the closet and what not and get rid of more shit. because, you know. we have a lot of shit.
in one drawer there's this pair of jeans that i love. something about the way they're cut, the flares are really neat, whatever it is. i just love how they fit. but they don't fit me 'right' anymore. they used to but now they don't. they don't respect me the way i am.
same for some people. someone i considered one of my best friends posted some picture about moving back to florida on facebook with a countdown. like happy her and her husband are moving back to florida. and neither of them said anything to awesome husband or me. even though we like texted back and forth a couple of weeks ago. you don't decide to move shortways across the country in like a few days. so OBVIOUSLY they had decided well before then, like they knew the last time i spoke to them.
when we all lived in florida, they were scared to tell us they were moving back to new york because they thought we'd be mad. i love these people like family and told them like, yah i'll miss you and i'm sad you're leaving but i'm so excited that you're making a move that's better for your family.
when we decide we were moving back to new york, mom and awesome husband and me, i didn't say ANYTHING about it on facebook or anything like that until i told my best friend in person. i would have loved to start networking and sharing my news right away, but i needed to be sure that i told my bestie before the general public knew.
it was the right thing for me to do.
but these friends, this couple that i thought of as family, just posted this shit and left it. didn't say anything to me, didn't bother to call or text or anything. flat out disrespectful. you tell me you think of me as fucking family? treat me like family. don't disrespect me.
it's like those jeans. i love them, but they got to go. i can't keep things - or people - in my life who disrespect me. i've spent way too long learning how to love myself for who i am, i can't let people treat me like that.
did i lash out on facebook? i sure as fuck did. is that immature or whatever? yeah i bet it is. is it disrespectful? YES IT IS. when people treat my badly, i don't sink to their level. like when someone cuts me off in traffic, i don't have to get them back - i let it go. when someone flat out disrespects me? i have to let them know.
did i overreact? yeah, maybe. but you know it's better to learn what someone truly thinks of you before it's too late.
so awesome husband and i should probably get to that bag of clothes soon. 'that which is temporal will be cut away'.
in other news, we're shopping for a new car. i was offered an opportunity i can't pass up and we need a second car asap so i can take advantage of it. we're hoping to go test driving or whatever over the next couple of days. exciting, for sure. i'll be busy enough this week with black friday coming up. working in sales/retail does that to you.
a year ago tomorrow we found out mom had cancer. ultimately, still just counting days. it's not just counting those days that mark when mom passed, or marking the days i've had without her. it's about the days i have left. life is short. days pass in what seem like hours, weeks fly by. it was just the middle of summer and i was sweating in the backyard, now it's about to be winter and the holiday season is here again.
life is to short to put up with people mistreating you. i refuse to let people or jeans treat me without respect.