Thursday, June 7, 2012

looks like the winds are changing

i had to take some time off 'dieting' because i sprained my lower back.  it was pretty shitty.  i spent four days in a little nest on my couch, eating muscle relaxers and napping.  it still bothers me in the morning, but i snack on a muscle relaxer and three advil and i'm good for the day.

i went back to the gym yesterday and told my personal trainer (who needs his own nickname, damn it) that my doctor told me to tell him about my back and to take it easy on me.  he joked that nothing was going to keep me from working out! lol he's a pisser, i really like him.  he pushes me A LOT and i feel like i have to prove myself to him.  which doesn't really make sense, but it motivates me.  so i guess it's a good thing.

anyway, he beat the hell out of my quadriceps so i took today off from the gym too.  and i have another personal training session tomorrow morning. 8:30 am.  i like getting it out of the way early.  i still haven't lost more than 5 pounds in the 6 weeks i've been on this lifestyle change, but i did lose weight once i started with the personal trainer.  i also have my heart rate monitor so i know how many calories i'm really burning.  those estimator things online are really not that close.  if you're seriously counting calories and planning on eating back any of your exercise calories, i really recommend a heart rate monitor.

i didn't eat too poorly while i was recuperating and not going to the gym, and i gained about two-thirds of a pound.  so i'm okay with that.  awesome husband started tracking his calories too because he's trying to put on weight (not sure if i mentioned that.  or mentioned how annoying it is).  he's getting very close to his goal weight. 

while i was going through my finances, getting ready to pay the rent last week, i realized i hadn't made any money last month.  i work 40 hours a week and i had made just over $500 with tips in a month.  that's fucking unsustainable.  i started freaking out and talked to awesome husband about it.  and as we talked, i realized something. 

i have the opportunity to help support him. 

all these years, when i've been too crazy to work or too angry to work or too injured to work, he's made the money and supported me.  awesome husband wants to go back to school.  working full time and going to school full time is hard, yo.  i know it and i'm lucky because i go to online only school.  he'd probably be doing all traditional schooling.  and it would be cool, if he had the opportunity, for him to work a little less than full time so he had more time for schoolwork.  and it would be cool if i could pick up the slack money wise.

we all knew piercing wasn't going to be something i did for the rest of my life.  i was hoping it was something i could do part-time while i finished school.  but even doing it full-time isn't really getting me any extra bucks at this point.  not enough to warrant NOT looking for another job.

so i'm back looking for a 'traditional' job.  i'm putting off dying my hair pink again because i might need to go back to natural colors.  and i'm hoping that prospective employers look past my tattooed forearm and hire me anyway.  i mean, most of the jobs i'm looking at are desk jobs where i don't talk to the public, so i think i'll be okay.  and hopefully i can keep piercing nights and/or weekends, at least until i go back to school in the fall.

but i'm strangely excited about looking for a job.  i applied for one with planned parenthood, and one with a local not-for-profit that helps families struggling with chemical dependencies.  hi, that's what i want to be when i grow up.  both are basically entry level (the local not-for-profit was looking for someone with some medical billing experience, but i applied anyway because it's the industry i want to be in.  i hope they still consider me) and would pay 'okay'.  i won't be raking in any dough, per se.  i may be raking in crumbs. 

but i'll be raking in something.  and hopefully that will give awesome husband the opportunity to focus on school.  we'll see what happens.


  1. Good luck and hope you find a good job that pays well and that you love.
    Take care of your back please. You don't want a relapse. Also...I would recommend you weigh yourself only once a week.

    1. i weight myself all the fucking time and it's horrible. but i only count the ones that are lower than the last weigh in. which is completely ridiculous and insane but, hello - i'm crazy.

  2. Is it weird that I'm super proud of you?

    And that you've inspired me?

    For reals.

    1. it's not that strange, canadian sister from another mister and missus. and thanks :) it's nice to have people being all proud of me and shit. i feel like i've never done anything worthwhile (omg i know, don't get me started) and i like actually doing something normal. like expected. if that makes any sense.

      i don't think it does. but, you know. whatevs. <3 you!