world's worst blogger

...it's probably me.

seriously, i have people who actually (used to) read my blog.  and i ignore them for over a month.  like, a long time.

but let me make some excuses so i feel better.

as my regular readers may remember, i was offered a job back in august.  they wanted me to start august 22.  i was excited and spent too much money on office appropriate clothes and had my newly-brown hair touched up.  my hair was always reddish brown, until i started dying it pink.  but it's been nice having 'normal' hair.

and, you know.  not bleeding pink from my hair all over the place.

things were coming together.  right?

riiiiiiight.

the weekend before i was to start my new job, we had a couple of days off.  i was temporarily done with school and was not going into the shop all weekend because of other responsibilities.  so saturday night and sunday night i went out.  saturday to my aunt's to visit with family (and drink a pitcher of margaritas while eating steak) and sunday to outback with awesome husband @_antgas and my girl... where i had a pitcher of mango skinny margaritas and more steak.

aside from my eating/drinking habits that weekend, i has this twinge in my chest, like under my right breast.  eh, i figured i tweaked something at the gym.

monday morning around 4am i woke up to pee.  my chest was hurting pretty badly.  i went to stand up and it was really hard. and i went to sit on the toilet and that was really hard to do too.  breathing was pretty hard.  basically, EVERYTHING was really hard.  i was wondering if i was having a heart attack, but my left arm didn't hurt.  then i was thinking maybe i like broke a rib or something and it punctured my lung.  but i could breath - it just hurt like FUCK.

i spent about an hour trying to lay down in bed.  i'd try to lay on my side... it hurt.  it hurt to sit up.  the actual act of rolling over was excruciating.  finally i woke @_antgas up and told him we needed to go to the hospital.

so he took me to the emergency room.  because the pain was in the vicinity of my chest, they rushed me right in and did an EKG.  then they rushed me right in to see a doctor.  i put my little robe thingy on and started getting poked and prodded.  they put an iv in my arm (ugh i hate that shit) and starting doing tests and X-rays.

everything was good.  and then they started talking about my gallbladder.

ergh, what?

one of my old friends had her gallbladder out, and she had SO MUCH pain like every time she ate, no matter what she ate.  i don't have that problem.

they ordered an ultrasound and a hitascan?  no idea how to spell that.  but it turns out my gallbladder is chock full of stones.  and they were like, well we can take it out now or you can go home and see if it happens again.

i was started a job in two days.  recovery time is a week.  i was like, um i'm going the fuck home.  so they sent me on my way with some percocet and that's it.  no advice on what to eat/not to eat or anything.

my gallbladder was achy for a few days, but no major pain. every once in a while it hurts again, but it's not been too bad.  i followed up with their recommended surgeon who wants to take my gallbladder from me and i'm terrified.  but then i was like, of COURSE as surgeon is going to recommend surgery! so i set up an appointment with my regular doctor and asked around to see who was recommended.  i didn't want some kid doing my surgery, you know?

the pain hadn't been too bad... until today.  last week my PCP said my gallbladder needs to come out and recommended a surgeon (whom i did some research on and is highly regarded).  i was like, whatever i'll call when i call.  i'm busy with work and school and an upcoming vacation and trying to get all of my vaccinations in order for school.  you know, life.

but today i had to leave work early and come home.  the pain wasn't too bad, but i had a fever and chills, and this strange nausea.  and just sleepy, so sleepy.  so i came home and ate light, napped for a while, and feel a bit better.  and called the surgeon.  i have an appointment with him next thursday and i will be scheduling surgery with him.  it's about a week recovery so i'm hoping to schedule it on like a wednesday or thursday so maybe i can be back at work monday or tuesday - that way i won't miss a lot a lot of work.  because i'm taking off the last week of october/first week of november for a family cruise.  more on that later.

for now, weep for my gallbladder.  i would prefer to keep my body intact, and i'm terrified of laparoscopic surgery because they'll go near my belly button.  and i'm not cool with that.  when we were little, my mom used to tell me and my brother that our arms, head, and legs were attached behind our belly button, like a puppet.  because we would play with our belly buttons (specifically my brother, he dug around in there like woah) (we were LITTLE KIDS.  gods, get a grip).

i mean, i know that's not true.  but you spend so many years avoiding your belly button and punching people who touch it, and it leaves an impression.  there will be an incision and, like, stitches there.  ergh.

have you had surgery?  what organs are you missing?  i've had two wisdom teeth out, but that's it.

it certainly is a good friday.

i mean, it's THE good friday for you fun loving christians out there.  time to celebrate poor jesus getting beat the fuck up, hung on a cross to die, and buried under a huge fucking rock.

PARTY.

at least you get all those chocolate bunnies and starburst jelly beans on sunday.  not sure why, but there you go.

i remember dying eggs with my mom and brother for easter.  my mom liked hard boiled eggs (i hate them).  she'd let me help peel them sometimes, though. 

and being the horrifically imaginative child that i was, i'd take all those different colored cracked egg shells and glue them to paper to make a picture.

yup.

and my mom would ooh and ahh over them, and then probably distract me with a matchbox car or the cat or something and throw it out.  because no one in their right mind keeps TRASH glued to a piece of paper for years.  even if their kid made it.

i mean, egg shells? really?  good job, steph. 

idiot.

anyway.  it's not a BAD friday, i suppose.  i have to work for a couple of hours, do some civil rightsy project for my 'cultural diversity' class (which i call my ethnics class.  haha), and then one of my besties is coming to spend the night.  probably because she really really likes me and awesome husband.

probably not because she likes awesome husband working on her car for free.

we'll go with choice 'a'.  (just kidding, bestie.  you know i'm kiddin' ya.)

and then i have to work for two hours tomorrow morning while bestie sleeps in.  and then who knows what we'll do.  as long as it doesn't involve cleaning my house or prostitution.

other than that, i'm pretty open.  and i do have to go pick up my copy of 'mortal kombat' at game stop.  which is right near lane bryant.  which i have a $25 gift cheque to.  yes, the spell it 'cheque'.  i guess it makes it fancier than saying 'here's a $25 COUPON that you can use for anything'.  or a gift CERTIFICATE saying 'since you keep spending so much money on bras in our store, here's something to show our appreciation'.  it's a 'cheque'.  and only valid until may 1.  know when i got it?  three days after i went to lane bryant to stock up on underwear.  which is 5 for $29.

guess i'm getting more panties.

in other news, i can't sleep through the night.  because i hate waiting for shit i have no control over.  our potential buyers want to close may 18th.  MAY FUCKING EIGHTEENTH.  that gives us less than a month to pack up and find a place to live in new york.  1200 miles away from where i am now.  monday is awesome husband's last day of work, so he'll kick packing's ass.  but finding a place to live?  and technically they aren't GUARANTEED to buy the house????

??????????

i mean, they waived their right to inspection.  because they're eager to get in the house, supposedly.  and they put $1K in escrow and they have to pay for the appraisal.  so if they walk away, they're out that money.  but we have to wait for the lender/underwriter to get off their asses and order the appraisal.  that's where i'm freaking out.  because they can still walk away after the appraisal.  so it's like, do i just assume it's all going to go through and find a place to live with that may 18th date in mind, or do i wait longer and see what happens?  and what if i get us that place to live for may 18th and shit falls through?? then we'll still have to move to new york and pay for that place AND pay for the house down here until it sells.

which is why i'm on a steady diet of tarzipan and chocolate.

and tonight is not only bestie night, but chili's night.  where we go to drink margaritas and beer and have something to eat.  it's our friday night thing.  i'm finding that my tolerance for tequila seems to be slipping.

or my girls at the bar are slipping more alcohol into those presidente margaritas. 

i knew those big tips would pay off.


ALSO i did a bit of light housekeeping on my blog page.  see over there?? to the left <~~~~~  near the top.  i've connected my tweetiness to the blog!  FANTASTIC!  and you can uptweet my ass or share me on the facebook.  DO IT.  you know you want to.  i'll send you all delicious margaritay thoughts tonight if you do.

ALSO ALSO.  i lost a reader.  wish there was like a rule that when you unfollow someone, you have to say why.  like, did my bewbz offend them?  am i not funny enough?  not skinny enough?  just that much more full of The Awesome than they are? 

the world may never know.