Wednesday, July 14, 2010

como hacer empanadas, perra

okay. i'm doing the empanada post. be forewarned - i have discovered that uploading multiple photos to blogger makes me super angry, so they are all down the middle and the same size and not fancy at all. i feel badly about this, like it's bad show or something, but i really want to share my empanadas and have had a special request :D so here we go.

also, i don't really 'do' recipes so much. i do lots of estimating and shaking and tasting. enjoy!

step one: chop up an onion. chop the hell out of it. like one mediumish onion. then put it in a pan with some olive oil. or butter. maybe half and half. like a total of 1tbsp. add a pinch of kosher salt and fresh cracked black pepper.
saute those bitches until they are getting 'translucent'. which is not really possible, but that's generally the term one would use. they get less white. more pearly. browny bits on the edges. what have you.

step two: dump in some ground beef. 1/2 to 3/4 of a pound should do it. i use ground chuck - 80/20 - because that's how i roll. well, that's what was on sale this week at publix. and honestly, that IS how i roll. brown that shit up. see how it starts swimming in it's own ground beefy fat? drain it. that's nasty. gah - add more kosher salt/black pepper.
now it's been drained and it's nice and cooked. add in some garlic. i recommend at least 2 good sized cloves, chopped fine. i usually use 3 huge ass cloves, or 4 'good sized' cloves of garlic cause i fucking love garlic. yummmmmm.

step three: add a big potato, i usually get one around 3/4 of a pound. cut it into bite sized cubes, about a half an inch. oh, peel it please. i never really peel potatoes unless i'm making empanadas. also, i use basic russet potatoes. yukons would work well too, but i don't know how red or new potatoes would hang.

step forty two: add other shit to the beefy potatoey goodness. like at least 2 cups of water (you want to cover just about everything). if you desire, 4-10 shakes of tabasco sauce (we're on the 10 shakes side in this household. even mom likes it). 1.5-2tbsp of adobo. i love me some adobo seasoning. also add a half of a packet of sazon con azafran. i love my shit with azafran. (ergh... saffron.)

bring it to a boil. it should take just a few minutes, and may thicken up a bit. turn to low and simmer covered for 15-20 minutes. check after 15 to see if the potatoes are cooked through.

see how everything melds together? the potatoes are done now - if you still have a lot of extra liquid, simmer it uncovered for a few more minutes. stir occasionally.
step five... i think: i trust you have already thawed your discos... goya discos. i use the smaller ones, so i get a fuckload of itsy empanadas and can spread the deliciousness further. i also do not FULLY thaw them - i like them to still be super cold when i assemble. you'll want to roll them out a bit with a rolling pin, too - just to thin the discos out a bit. then plop a spoonful in the middle. like, two tablespoons? maybe a bit less? just go with it.

now, you don't want any of the meat & potato mixture to get close to the edges, where you will crimp and seal with a fork. keep it all in the middle or the empanadas will not seal right :/ and you will cry. so will i. also, now is a good time to preheat your oven to 375 degrees F.

step six: fill and fold discos until you have no more discos or filling, which ever comes first. if you have filling left over, eat it with a spoon while the empanadas are cooking.

step seven: melt some butter. like two tablespoonsish? and mix in the remaining half packet of sazon CON AZAFRAN. it will make an orangey buttery.... butter that you will brush on things. i like to use my fancy silicone pastry brush because it makes me feel important.

now, brush it on all your empanadas. the more butter you use, the fattier... ergh, better they will crisp up. now put them in the oven for about 20 minutes (check them after 17 to see if they are browning on the edges yet - that's when you'll want to take them out).

step by step: take them out of the oven and LEAVE THEM ALONE because they are fucking hot as all hell right now. turn off your oven and go like set the table or check for new stuff at

final step: put on a plate, shake some tabasco on, and enjoy the fuck out of them. they reheat well too - i pop them in the microwave for about 20 seconds, just to warm them through, then i put them in the toaster until the very edges are a bit bubbly.
so that's mostly my empanada recipe. they're really delicious and not at all authentic. i have also added a diced tomato before and it's nice, but not necessary as far as i'm concerned. i serve them with nothing but tabasco sauce and eat at least two at a time - one is never enough. if you make these and find them as delicious as awesome husband and i do, let me know. if you make these and find them horrible, please don't blame me because i am obviously not any kind of latinish, nor colombian. i mean, potatoes i can do. i'm irish. so you KNOW the potatoes will be divine. at least there is that.
PS- i need to point out that blogger's spell check told me that i should spell AZAFRAN 'saffron'. well played, blogger. well played.

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