the windows are fogged up.

it's raining today. i hear you all crying out 'so what?!?'. it does indeed rain just about every day this time of year here in the FLA. but it's early - we usually get afternoon storms. so this means it will probably rain just about all day. and the windows in the house are all foggy, so i know it's super nasty humid outside.

thankfully, i generally don't go outside (unless i'm going to the mailbox or the pool). but i do feel bad for taylor. he's sitting outside on the table, staring at me - but not yowling - in his stripey fur coat.

fyi, i did just go let him in. he started yowling. dick.

so it's a bit early on a monday for blogging, but i'm terrifically nervous and decided to document my new adventure for posterity (or to help others through a similar situation). you may remember that i went to my new psychiatrist for the first time on friday. firstly, you do not in fact get the crazy person's hour of 50 minutes with a psychiatrist - it's only 15 minutes. huh. all of my antipsychotic medication prior to this time has been prescribed either in the hospital or by my gp when i lived in new york. new psych went through the medical history, asked about meds i'd taken in the past, and has decided to try me on pristiq. he gave me a three week supply, and said 'see you in three weeks'.

well, we were planning on celebrating awesome husband's birthday over the weekend, and alcohol + antipsychotics = ridiculousness, so i decided to wait until today to start the medications. we did have a wonderful birthday weekend, and depending on how i feel, we may go out again tomorrow for his actual birthday.

but the purpose of this post is my new medication. i took my trial packets home on friday and got right online to research pristiq. and then got a bit crazier than usual. i mean, it has all the 'normal' possible side effects as most anti-psychotics: nausea, diarrhea, constipation, a higher risk of suicide attempts, weight gain, weight loss, increased or decreased appetite, sweats, headaches, and others. i know, it's like 'why bother?' but most of us never get all of the side effects - you might get one or two, and they usually go away after a week or 10 days.

some side effects are more serious than others - like swelling and itching, new ticks or twitches, other neurological bits and pieces. those are grounds to call your doctor right away or go to a hospital. they differ for each med, usually, so it's important to know about the 'bad' side effects.

but after reading about pristiq on friday, i'm actually more than a bit scared. people talk about feeling like dying for 2-5 days after starting it - like they literally cannot get out of bed, cannot eat or keep anything down, cannot turn the lights on. some people talk about profuse sweating, horrible headaches and body aches, and rapid weight gain (50+ pounds in 6 months). some say they slept all day after taking it, so must take it at night - and just as many said they couldn't sleep at all, and have to take it first thing in the morning. and then getting off the medication... that's another ridiculous story. people say it's like coming off alcohol or even heroin - you get horrific withdrawal symptoms for up to three weeks after cutting back and stopping. people are being prescribed downers and sleeping pills to deal with the withdrawals from this medication.

so i prepared - just in case. if i gain more than 5 pounds in the first three weeks, i won't take it. i've prepared awesome husband for the possibility that he may be making dinner for a few days. and i keep reminding myself that i almost never have the strange side effects like these - i am ass backwards when it comes to health shit like this.

i was surprised how important it is to take pristiq at the same time every day. like, that's important with birth control pills, and they recommend it for most medications because it's easier to remember to take the pills when you do it the same time every day. but many users talk about how they start experiencing withdrawal symptoms if they're a couple of hours late with their dose! are these people just THINKING that? or is this drug really that addictive? is it going to be like when i was using illicit drugs, wondering when i'm going to get my next hit of pristiq every day? that just doesn't seem appropriate.

but then, there are the other people who reviewed the drug online and say it was basically a miracle. their friends and family remark on how present and alive they seem. they are able to get out of bed and go to work, take care of themselves and their families. they aren't experiencing those obsessive thoughts, or bouts of rage, or highs and lows.

so here's to hoping.

i hope you'll all come with me on this new adventure, and forgive me the 'serious' blogs because i promise you'll still get 'fun' blogs. i mean, just because i'm batshit crazy, doesn't mean that fun things don't happen. like just saturday, we had a ridiculous time at the melting pot for awesome husband's birthday. i'm really hoping i feel 100% tomorrow for his actual day of birth, so we can go do something else awesome, befitting the birthday of an awesome husband :D