Wednesday, April 27, 2011

having a house husband

at least for a while.  awesome husband's last day of work was monday.  so he's home with me.  all day.  and he's not good at being home all day.

which means he's all cabin feverish.  and he's been home for two days.  all he wants to do is play video games and sleep. 

we finally are having the appraisal done tomorrow.  and we're still supposedly on track for closing on may 18th.  the 18th.


which is, what, 20 days away?  to figure out where we're moving to, to pack up the house, transport all four cats and all our shit and ourselves up there. 

twenty days to not have a nervous breakdown.  to figure out what furniture we're not taking.  to have a garage sale.  to have a going-away party.  to meet up with all the friends one last time. 

twenty days for awesome husband to find a job.  eek.

i'd be lying if i said i could sleep without tarzipan.  i'm eating it like it was, well, marzipan?  does that make sense?

i keep thinking about stupid things.  we have to eat all the frozen food stuff because we can't bring it 1200+ miles in a car.  we should stop buying non-perishables so we don't have to transport them.  should i really buy another 20-pound bag of cat food?  will they really eat it all in 20 days?

that's a pound a day.  that seems like a lot.  i mean, there are four of them.  but a pound a day?  hmmmm.

and how is all of our shit even GETTING to new york?  we have to drive our 'crossover' (hyundai santa fe) up to new york with four cats in it.  (i'm terrifically excited about that.  not.)  and we have to have our shit in a truck or something to get to new york.  i love road tripping with awesome husband.  not that we do it often, but we've made the drive a couple of times now, as well as a few 5 hour drives places.  and i love driving around in the car with him, rocking out to some good music (over the choruses of cat screaming) and chatting.  last time we moved down here (and when mom moved down here) we used a company that transported broadway sets around the country.  their drivers would also use part of their trailer for like people's shit.  you pay by the linear foot, with a ten-foot minimum.

i don't think we have that much stuff this time.

so i'm thinking one of those 'storage units' like pods would be an option.  i think we'll have enough to fill that.  they pick it up and drop it off.  awesome husband and i can drive with the cats.

and i'd love to be able to price it. BUT I CANNOT BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A PLACE TO PUT IN 'DESTINATION'.

*deep breaths*

otherwise, life is going well.  i'm rocking the fuck out of school with my 4.0 gpa.  i'm rocking out at work and being awesome for 20+ hours a week.  i'm staying out of mom's room as much as possible because it still smells like her.

which, by the way, i'm calling shenanigans on.  i mean, we've donated just about all of her clothes.  and her shoes.  i've washed her bedclothes at least seven times since she died.  how the fuck does that room still smell like mom???

lame.  completely lame.

you know what else is lame? facebook.  i had put mom's facebook page in 'memorial status' so it's like there but we don't get those reminders like 'you should reconnect with Dead Mom' or whatever.  which is useful, right?  but what is NOT USEFUL is that i cannot log in and change her profile picture.  the photo there now is one of her that we took on the tram at epcot.  she looks cute and mom-like.  but i want to change it.

i want to change it to a photo of her urn.

you read that shit right.  my mom would totes get a kick out of that.  i want it to be a photo of her urn from the funeral, where it was all pretty and surrounded by flowers and shit.

seriously.  mom would love that.

another thing i'm sure i'll be hating on soon is mother's day.  fuck it.  fuck it right in it's stupid ass*.

on a positive note, i'll be in new york for my brother's b-day.  and for father's day.  so i can celebrate the only parent i have left.  even if he is mostly a pseudo-parent.  or sperm donor who gives me shit and buys me steak once in a while, even as he tells me he has a lunch date with a 23 year old 'dancer'.

could this post have made LESS SENSE?? 

awesome husband and i are hoping to go see disney cats and have lunch out tomorrow.  like a date? kind of cute.  what is not kind of cute?  samuel l. jackson narrating disney cats.  i can't really comment on it because stephaniec my self-proclaimed canadian sisterfromanothermister already did here and i'll mess it up.  except to shout MOTHER FUCKING CATS ON A MOTHER FUCKING PLAIN.

get it?

*i'm assuming that mother's day does not like it up the butt.  if it does, then it might enjoy that act.  and that would not be cool because the whole point of fucking mother's day up the ass, to me, is that mother's day would not enjoy it.  so if mother's day likes butt play, then i'll have to think up something else.


  1. I'm moving back to New York June 1st. It's a forced move because that's where Hubs has a job. Those weird things you're thinking about are flying through my head, too. I bought some trash bags the other day and thought "These will be my last trashbags in Chicago." At least I don't have to have a garage sale or deal with Craigslist. I'm donating all my furniture to the Salvation Army instead of dealing with it. We've moved so much, we don't have much anyway and it easier for me. Now I just have to figure out if my dog will freak out on the plane ride and get me shot by an air marshal.

  2. I heart this post...because I can totally follow it. You jump around from one idea to another in a way that I can relate. You spend just the right amount of time on one idea that it's easy for me to follow along and not suddenly think "Oh my god, I really need to check out that puppy cam!"

    Anywho...I'm sure you guys will find place. If not, at least it's spring going on summer...sleeping in a house is totally overrated. Lol.

    Also, while I'm sure your mom would totally get a kick out of you putting her urn pic up, I seriously doubt that everyone would share in your sick sense of humor. I, personally, think it's awesome. But I'm not sure if everyone would feel that way.

    Good luck with everything!!!

  3. I feel your pain, girl. I totally follow your train of thought and have no helpful words.

    Keep takin' the tarzipan.

    Try the yard sale... or see if you can enlist a friend to sell some of your stuff if the stress becomes too much. A yard sale takes time that you maybe don't have if there is too much other stuff to do.

    Good luck... it'll all work out, somehow.

  4. I love the jumpy around that you did. Not everyone can perform those kind of mental acrobatics you know.

    As for your hubs, put his ass to work if he's all cabin feverish. There is mondo packing to do. more than you probably realize even though you aren't taking much stuff. I can also completely relate to all the little things that you are thinking about regarding the move. You mind is spinning out of control like a flywheel. I remember having the same thoughts about food and pet food. OMG!

    I do love that you guys are going on a date and I do get the CATS ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE thing!!! LOL. Too funny.

  5. WE ARE IN THE EXACT SAME BOAT...I look at my kitchen pantry and I'm like fuck. We're not gotta eat all this shit. I don't want to take it to Mass. We need to stop buying groceries. We need to live like hunter-gatherer-scavengers or something. And then the whole moving sitch? UGH. Loading everything in the truck, storage units, finding a place....gahhhhh stress stress stress. This sounds awful...but at least I'm glad to have someone going through the same thing so I don't feel so AHHH AHHH CRAZYTIMES STRESS STRESS STRESS!

  6. i hate to sound like a follower, but i'm with you. moving soon. don't have enough time to plan. annoyed and tired.

    if you rent a truck, i suggest penske. they're the cheapest and you get a discount for reserving on the internet, and a discount for having AAA. (the discount is more than the cost of an AAA membership).

    also?? how often do you get to drive a huge truck across the country? i wore a pink cowgirl hat when i did it 2 years ago, and i'll wear it again when i do it in 2 months.

    pods can be really expensive, also.

  7. Ok, so I followed this and I laughed and I know it's probably not cool to laugh at your drama, but hello? You are ranting about Mother's Day and butt play.

    Safe moving, hope it all goes smoothly. I've moved cross country with a dog and a cat in the backseat. It was... interesting.