Friday, April 15, 2011

offers and bewbz. not related.

first the offers part.  we have had two offers on the house, both for MORE than the asking price.  i am still perplexed by the real estate market and buying houses.  however, none of that matters because i have a great agent and am probably going to closing within 35 days.  we're accepting an offer today.

we listed the house monday.  LAST monday.  monday april 11. today is friday april 15. 

yup.  i'm just that awesome.

the best offer came from someone who saw the house last night.  it was a last minute showing and i'd already started dinner (empanadas).  so the smell of my delicious, non-authentic, columbian inspired emapandas was wafting through the house.

and they called my agent two hours later to inform her of the offer.

lesson: always have fresh flowers out AND empanads in your oven if you want to sell your house in a week.


so i got this award from torystellar at can u relate?.  and it's the nice rack award.

i totes deserve this.

but it dictates that i pass it on to others as well as show a photo of my rack.  now, as much as i love my bewbz, the fact is that most of the photos i have of them are not suitable for posting online.

not because i'm ashamed or don't want you to see my migrated nipple rings.  seriously.  but because blogger would be all 'ZOMG IT'S A PLUS SIZE PRON BLOG' and shut my shit down.

yes, i actually do have a photo of one of my nipple rings migrating.  it's interesting, and sad because i loved having my nipples pierced.  once we're settled in new york again, i'm going to go a piercer recommended by sisterfromanothermister who thinks i should be able to repierce them.  fingers crossed.

anyway.  i went through the archives to find photos showcasing my bewbz while not bordering on porn.  have fun.

these are my bewbz circa 2008.  they still look basically the same.

bewbz circa 2009, after i chopped all my hair off.  that mark is from awesome husband beating me.  okay, no it's not.  it's probably from a cat stepping on me.  i have sensitive skin.

my bewbz with my brother, sisterfromanothermister, and awesome husband june 2010.

my bewbz in new york, march 2011.
yeah, i know.  pretty lame.  i feel like i should find an excuse to dress up and take tit pics (especially for stephaniec.  since she asked so nicely).  i'm sure i'll fine more bewbz pics that i'll share.  i'm practically OBLIGATED to share them now that i've gotten this nice rack award.

and now i get to pass it to some other bloggers.  i've decided to give it to people whose bewbz i wouldn't mind seeing.  not in a creepy stalker way.  i promise.

ergh.  that was awkward.

anyway, here goes.

-stephanie c at seriously?? reeeally? seriously? because i should take my chances now before she's all married.
-nicki at the loaded handbag because i don't totally have a crush on her.
-sarah p at naked cupcakes because i feel that the title of her blog alone warrants me asking her to show me her, well, cupcakes.
-the barreness at, um, the barreness, because i need to know if they're better than nigella lawson's.  it could be imperative to my fantasies research.

and i should like get back into actual blogging, and not this half assed phoning-it-in kind of crap.  one day.  i promise.  but it might not be for a while.  you might have to put up with packing and rental-house-hunting bullshit for now.


  1. Congrats on the house and the award! The award is definitely deserved, by the way. And you picked some great recipients to make them flaunt for us. I bet the guys are loving this award floating around our blogosphere.

  2. "the barreness at, um, the barreness, because i need to know if they're better than nigella lawson's. it could be imperative to my fantasies research."

    SWEET JESUS. This is why I love you.

    And your rack is OUTFUCKINGSTANDING. I'm pretty sure mine can't compete. I'm going to have to start training them or something.

    AND....CONGRATULATIONS and closing your house! I wish you could have seen my face while reading this, because it was like a giant light bulb went off in my head. Showing your house while delicious food is in the oven is truly genius. I'm not just saying that like "haha, yeah, you're such a genius, blah blah blog comment," but like LEGIT genius. Smell is so powerful. And half of the reason I'd buy a house is for the kitchen? To see it and smell it in use would be an AMAZING sales tactic.

    So...I guess where I'm going with all this're a genius with a fucking amazing rack.

  3. Nicki said it best.

    I am soooo happy. I read the shitty 50% less post first, then the "we have two offers and accepted one" post and was all happy and smiley and YAY!

    I have been updating Feyoncé as I read.

    Hmmm... I have no real bewbz. I can fit my fist between my lack of them, and the boning in my wedding dress (no, not THAT kind of boning... HA!)

    I'll see what I can muster up... maybe a photobucket link and not a blog post. Feyoncé probably would die if I did a blog post about my lack of rack.

    CONGRATS on having a great rack @@ AND a sold house!!