Thursday, October 14, 2010

mr. potato head is scarier than you think.

now, please.  don't expect my vacationblogz to be in any particular order.  because THEY ARE NOT.  and may encompass multiple days in one post, but all pertaining to the same storyline.

today's story is about mr. potato head.  you all know and love him.  he became the star of the toy story movie franchise with his lovely wife, mrs. potato head. 

at disney's hollywood studios, there is a ride called toy story midway mania.  it's a really neat 3d ride where you participate in midway-like games.  throwing darts at balloons, breaking plates, you get the idea.  it's AWESOMETASTIC, seriously.  and like all good disney rides, it has a great queue area.  it's like being in a big toy box: candyland on the walls, checkerboards on the ceiling, those cute monkeys from the barrel full of monkeys game all over the place, lincoln logs, and what have you.  and near the front of this room, a large audio animatronic of mr. potato head.  he's dressed like a county fair guy: straw hat, striped sleeves, mic in hand.

now, his arms move, his mouth moves, and he talks to you.  all 'step right up' and corny disney jokes/puns, of course.  disney audio animatronics are THE BEST there are.  and this one is no different.  his eyes are LCD it appears, and his eyelids move too.  his fingers can move.  in fact, he bitches about us not paying attention to him at one point:

'what do i have to do to get your attention, pull my own ear off?'

yes.  yes, you do.  and that's what he does.  mr. potato head's arm reaches up, grasps his pink ear, and pulls it out of his head.  hahahaha, very funny.  because that's what potato heads do, that's why they're funny.

what isn't supposed to happen happens while we are right up front.  he pulls his own ear out, as normal.


i cannot make this shit up.  the ear pops out like it's supposed to, and his fingers don't hang on to it correctly.  it flies to the ground with a clatter.  awesome husband, brother, sisterfromanothermister, and myself notice it IMMEDIATELY.  not everyone else does.  children are not crying yet.  and mr. potato head goes on his merry joke-making way.... missing an ear.

i know his eyes are freaking ass bright in this photo, but you can see his ear hole.  empty.  sad, really.
what to do?  we hypothesize that they may cut the line, and make others wait outside the building, then when we are all out of the holding room they'll reattach his ear.  some people are whispering at this point.  we don't hear any crying children yet.  i don't think anyone is particularly calling attention to it.

finally, a cast member comes out and picks up the ear, and takes it backstage.  NOW people notice.  there is some whimpering from children around us.  but that's what potato heads do, honey.  it's okay.

they shut down mr. potato head.  he just sits there, glaring at all of us.  not talking, not moving.  the cast member hovers near the wall to backstage, like she's not sure what to do.  someone must tell her to just go reattach his ear.  the stillness of mr. potato head seems to be creeping some kids out.  whimpering and questions are rampant now.

the cast member strides out, not looking towards any of us, reaches up, and pushes mr. potato head's ear back into place.  we applaud.  crisis averted! thanks, disney!

the real crying starts when they reboot mr. potato head.  his LCD eyelids go through this creepy angled closing phase which looks like it should have been in 'mr. potato head exorcist' or something.  now kids cry.  and i overhear mom ruining the magic by talking about offstage stuff to muggles.  i mean, non-disney castmembers.  shutupmom, don'truinthemagic! she clasps her hand over her mouth and shuts it.  i'm nothing if not loyal to the mouse.  i just wish they paid better.

so we go on toy story mania.  i was in my big girl chair this day (electronic scooter) and they gave us the special cars to ride in.  fun times.  and we continue with our day. 

HOWEVER.  in talking about the incident afterward, sisterfromanothermister admits that as soon as mr. potato head ripped his own ear off, she had visions of him inserting his own fingers into his eyes and gouging them out in a sea of potatoey blood. 

seriously.  no wonder she's dating my brother.  she fits RIGHT IN.

so then, all day long, as well as the next day, my brother mimed gouging his own eyes out repeatedly.  and it precipitated this photo the next night at downtown disney. 

sisterfromanothermister looks horrified and hysterical at the same time.  she's now one of us.
this may also be the first photo of awesome husband you are all seeing. so from left to right, it's brother (gouging mr. potato head's eye out), sisterfromanothermister, and awesome husband. this was taken outside of once upon a toy, the largest disneycentric toy store EVAH and it's a fucking madhouse in there all the time. i think i've been in there once.

we continued drinking a bit, then called mom to come pick us up.  she hadn't been feeling 100% for vacationtime, so we let her rest and didn't force her to party with us.  not that we partied A LOT.  because we're all basically old.  i mean, sisterfromanothermister and my brother aren't 'old'.  actually, i'm not 'old'.  30 is not 'old'.  but we're like, grown up and maturish.  and we had done three days at the parks.  so we were kind of, you know, TIRED.  you can walk 8-13 miles A DAY if you spend full days at the parks.  and we spent lots of time.  wednesday we did 11 hours, thursday we did 10 hours, and friday we did breakfast at chef mickey's and then another 9+ hours at the parks.  busy, busy little bees we were.

and get ready to be innundated with blogs.  i plan on posting a harry potterville blog later today.  MAYBE.  because i'm planning on going back again this saturday morning.  part of me is like, maybe i'll wait until saturday so i can get even MORE photos to put in my blog.  and the other part is like, blog NOW because that way you can record your first impressions.  any suggestions guys?


  1. That is so funny,,, I love your sisterfromanothermister, she has my kind of sense of humor. Great blog!

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  2. OMG! Too farking funny! Poor Mr. Potatohead. I think if I saw the rebooting Mr. Potatohead exorcist eyes I might have cried too. Blog away, my dear blog away. I think we should get first impressions prior to going to Harry Potterville a second time. Then after the return trip you can let us know if the impression holds.

  3. For some reason I love it when little kids get scared at silly stuff like that. Am I messed up or what?

  4. i'm weird and think most toys are really creepy and possessed by the devil underneath all of their supposid cuteness. okay, that's a bit dramatic--but toys just creep me out.