Tuesday, October 12, 2010

vacation fun/sad times

it's been like a whole week since i blogged.  this must be some kind of record for me.  since i started blogging, anyway.

my brother and his girlfriend (aka my sister from another mister, and from another mother, because otherwise she'd be related to my brother and that would be horrifying AND illegal) came to visit from last tuesday until yesterday, sunday.  it was a busy time.  remind me to tell you about mr. potato head.  seriously.

the short version is we went to disney.  we went to universal.  my foot got super angry by friday and i rented an electric scooter thing to zoom around hollywood studios and epcot for my anniversary.   yes, friday was my sixth wedding anniversary.  i celebrated by being terrified by mr. potato head and using a scooter to eat/drink my way around epcot with awesome husband, my brother, and my sisterfromanothermister.

we also visited harry potterville (aka 'the wizarding world of harry potter') at universal studios.  it was AWESOME!  omg so awesome.  now, if you've been to universal, you might know there are a lot of thrill rides there.  that require shoulder restraints and fitted seats.

and if you've read my blog like ever, you'll know i'm a big girl.  universal has what they call 'modified seating' in select rows on some of their thrill rides.  meaning the shoulder restraint thingy has extra room for the fatties.  yes, fat seating.  which i actually used.  and enjoyed, since the restraint was able to restrain me without smushing my tits to the point of pain and causing me to be unable to, like, BREATHE.  they have seats you can try out in front of each ride.  in front of everyone.  so everyone there watches you and KNOWS you might be too fat to sit int he regular seats.  i didn't do that.  i just automatically got one of the modified seats on dragon challenge, realized it fit well, and kept using the modified seats.

we decided to do the harry potter ride in hogwarts castle a second time, and brother, sisterfromanothermister, and i used the single rider line.  now, on harry potter, the line is SUPER LONG and winds through the castle.  as you get closer to the boarding area, the line splits up into single riders, grouped riders, and special riders in the middle.  like, if you needed modified seating.  they had a seat to try right there.

i was totally planning on asking for modified seating. 

while on line, they pulled out a big girl to try out the seat and directed her and her companion to the middle, special riders line.  i felt horrible for her.  she was big, though.  like really big.  bigger than me.  glad i don't have to be embarrassed like that.

was i wrong.  they pulled me out of the single riders line and asked me to try the seat.  i didn't even react fast enough to know that i could just say 'i already know i need it' or something.  i had already taken half a tarzipan to deal with the anxiety i felt that day.

i was mortified.  and i've been embarrassed before.  i fell down the bleachers in front of the entire school while accepting an award.  i dropped an entire case of money in the middle of the hub in front of cinderella's castle during wishes on my second day of work.  i know embarrassed.

i have never been more embarrassed in my life.  awesome husband tells me that he doesn't like it when i call myself fat - it's a turn off, it's demeaning, whatever.  as long as i'm healthy (and i am actually fairly physically healthy aside from elevated cholesterol) it's okay.

thursday, i was fat.

did i let it ruin my day?  no i did not.  but it didn't get any easier on friday when my foot gave out.  i needed a wheelchair, and mom rented me a motorized scooter so no one had to push me in the heat.  i spent the day getting strange looks from people.  you might say, 'steph, your hair is pink and your face is full of metal.  that's what they are looking at'.  you'd be wrong.  they're looking at me and thinking, 'omg, look at this lazy ass fat chick.  she can't even walk around the parks, she's so fat and lazy'.  i got the same looks when we first started going to disney and i needed a chair, when my hair was brown and i had no facial piercings.

that is how people think.  when they see someone who is not visibly handicapped in a wheelchair, they wonder why they need it.  if the person is big, they think that they're a fat, lazy slob who can't be bothered to walk around the parks.  and i know it to be true, because i've been told it before. 

i was in a car accident in 2005 and smashed my toe to smithereens.  i have degenerative arthritis in my toe and foot, which will never get better or go away.  we did 11 hours in the parks on wednesday, over 9 hours on thursday, and by friday my foot could not take it.  i don't have a brace or cast, and i just look like a fat chick in a wheelchair.

maybe i need a sign that says 'i have a fucked up foot and need this wheelchair.  what's your excuse for being a dick?'

HOWEVER.  sugar ray played at epcot on friday night and we saw it.  and i got groped by mark mcgrath.  he ran around the crowd, hugging women and high fiving people.  he came up the middle aisle, ran to me in my electric convenience vehicle, and one-arm hugged me.  sadly, my brother and his lax camera skills missed it.  but i have it here (i'm pointing at my head) and that's all that counts.

we also had our first trip of the year to epcot's food and wine festival.  standouts this year are canada (as they always are for the cheddar cheese soup), greece (spanakopita and chicken souvlaki), spain (manchengo cheese and chorizo), and ireland for the bunratty meade.  yum.  YUM.  i. love. meade.  I.  LOVE.  MEADE.  i don't know how to explain to you how much i love meade.  MEADE!

expect more posts this week about my awesome vacation with my awesome family.  and more pity-partying.  and more tarzipan.  and the gays.  and the upcoming launch of a new feature on my blog called duckface à l'orange.  EPIC.  i promish.

FINALLY!  annah over at red means go made THIS BLOG the XXX blog love spreading button blog of the week!  WOOHOO!  i'm on my way to being BONed and obtaining famosity with annah!


  1. I'm sorry you were embarrassed. I can't imagine anyone likes being singled out in that way. I wonder if you can think of a more humane, less humiliating way that the staff can accomodate heavy riders? Maybe you could compose a letter to offer your suggestions?



  3. Shitty deal feeling so embarassed when it is already a sensitive topic.

    Just had a little meltdown myself tonight over the "stupid" thing with BF.

    It's so hard, because I want to say "fuck 'em! ignore 'em!" but I know I would be worried about what everyone else was saying and judging.

    Even now, with all my health stuff, I don't "look" sick, so people just think I am being picky/whiny/bitchy/needy (well, I *always* am to a degree), but it's a real, shitty, painful deal.

    I feel for ya sista.

  4. Gha.. When I was bigger, I got my ass stuck in a roller-coaster ride at Canada's Wonderland (basically an up-north Disney, but with Nickelodeon characters). It sucked. It took a good 2-3 minutes to wriggle my ass out of the little seat. Being singled out couldn't have been pleasant at all for you.

    "Duckface a l'orange" - I think I know where you're going with that.. and I like it already.

  5. @yogurt - it's a hard call. i don't know that there is any sensitive way to tell someone they need the fat seat. i do know that i accidentally sat in a non-modified seat and had to ask them to raise the shoulder things so i could switch with my bro. i actually wasn't embarrassed then - no one said anything or looked at me or whatever. maybe when you purchase your ticket, they could mention it? they're already visually profiling for larger riders at the ride - maybe they could just do it at the gate. anyway, writing a letter is a good idea. at least it will mean i did something about it :D

    @adorkable - hate to rub it in, but we have annual passes to both now. of course, living in central florida has TONS of drawbacks, and disney/universal are really the only perks.

    @stephanie - i usually feel like i don't care what other people think. obviously i'm still a delicate flower in some respects. kind of lame.

    @yandie - :/ that must have sucked. and i think that's what it is - being singled out. even with my bright hair and metal-filled face, i usually don't get lots of strange stares. double takes and extra glances, yes. but you can tell when someone is super staring at you.

  6. Oh sweetie! That's awful! I"m a big girl too and would probably need the modified seating. However the people who are all judgey of you riding a scooter need to take a step back. You never know what anyone's deal is and therefore shouldn't pass judgement. Not all big people are lazy and not all big people don't eat healthy. Those two are really big ones for me.

    I'm here for you iffin' ya wanna vent babe!

  7. Steph :( I'm really glad that you have this blog in order to vent and write and express your feelings. I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

    At least you didn't let it dampen your mood and oh my God Sugar Ray! I loved them in high school SO much. The lead singer is such a hottie, and from what I read here, a cool dude.

    Awesomeness times 1000.

  8. UGH. That's awful. It SUCKS to be singled out like that. But good for you for not letting it ruin your day!

    And I have ALWAYS wanted to go to the Epcot Food & Wine Festival! JEALOUS FACE!

  9. Omg, Steph, that must have pissed you off SO bad. My hat's off to you, sweetie. I would have either cried or went all old-testament on someone. Good for you for not letting it ruin your good time!!!

  10. fanks, guys. i feel so loved <3

    i'll be going back to universal, and now i know just to tell them right away that i would like a modified seat. that's all. and to take tarzipan. because that made the whole crazy-fucking-tourists-filling-the-park-and-acting-like-assholes thing a whole lot easier to deal with.

  11. OMG you're alive! Haha. I guess the same could be said about me, since I haven't blogged in a week either...

    Anywho, glad you had an awesome time with your family. Sucks about your foot, though. And, sadly, I must admit that I have thought that about fat people riding on a motorized scooter, not even realizing it might be because of some physical ailment...I won't be so quick to judge next time.

    Also, I have been watching Venture Bros. non-stop since 9 this morning. I need to find a way to watch season 4 so I can watch the current season...i'm so behind. *sniff*

  12. Oh I read about getting stuck on a roller coaster...Yea my butt is so bootylicious and I got stuck on Batman and Scream at six flags Magic Mountain...Not fun...


  13. I think you totally need that sign. See, I am a bigger girl and so was my mom (she lost lots of weight) and she has degenerative disc disorder in her back and had to start using the electric carts at walmart and people would give her that look. I am irish and I love my mom, so it pissed me off and I have went off on a couple of people. Oh well, they deserved it... Great post, and so very jealous about the HP part :)

    check out my blog @ amberlashell.com

  14. You have been tagged!

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