having a house husband

at least for a while.  awesome husband's last day of work was monday.  so he's home with me.  all day.  and he's not good at being home all day.

which means he's all cabin feverish.  and he's been home for two days.  all he wants to do is play video games and sleep. 

we finally are having the appraisal done tomorrow.  and we're still supposedly on track for closing on may 18th.  the 18th.

EIGHTEENTH.

which is, what, 20 days away?  to figure out where we're moving to, to pack up the house, transport all four cats and all our shit and ourselves up there. 

twenty days to not have a nervous breakdown.  to figure out what furniture we're not taking.  to have a garage sale.  to have a going-away party.  to meet up with all the friends one last time. 

twenty days for awesome husband to find a job.  eek.

i'd be lying if i said i could sleep without tarzipan.  i'm eating it like it was, well, marzipan?  does that make sense?

i keep thinking about stupid things.  we have to eat all the frozen food stuff because we can't bring it 1200+ miles in a car.  we should stop buying non-perishables so we don't have to transport them.  should i really buy another 20-pound bag of cat food?  will they really eat it all in 20 days?

that's a pound a day.  that seems like a lot.  i mean, there are four of them.  but a pound a day?  hmmmm.

and how is all of our shit even GETTING to new york?  we have to drive our 'crossover' (hyundai santa fe) up to new york with four cats in it.  (i'm terrifically excited about that.  not.)  and we have to have our shit in a truck or something to get to new york.  i love road tripping with awesome husband.  not that we do it often, but we've made the drive a couple of times now, as well as a few 5 hour drives places.  and i love driving around in the car with him, rocking out to some good music (over the choruses of cat screaming) and chatting.  last time we moved down here (and when mom moved down here) we used a company that transported broadway sets around the country.  their drivers would also use part of their trailer for like people's shit.  you pay by the linear foot, with a ten-foot minimum.

i don't think we have that much stuff this time.

so i'm thinking one of those 'storage units' like pods would be an option.  i think we'll have enough to fill that.  they pick it up and drop it off.  awesome husband and i can drive with the cats.

and i'd love to be able to price it. BUT I CANNOT BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A PLACE TO PUT IN 'DESTINATION'.

*deep breaths*

otherwise, life is going well.  i'm rocking the fuck out of school with my 4.0 gpa.  i'm rocking out at work and being awesome for 20+ hours a week.  i'm staying out of mom's room as much as possible because it still smells like her.

which, by the way, i'm calling shenanigans on.  i mean, we've donated just about all of her clothes.  and her shoes.  i've washed her bedclothes at least seven times since she died.  how the fuck does that room still smell like mom???

lame.  completely lame.

you know what else is lame? facebook.  i had put mom's facebook page in 'memorial status' so it's like there but we don't get those reminders like 'you should reconnect with Dead Mom' or whatever.  which is useful, right?  but what is NOT USEFUL is that i cannot log in and change her profile picture.  the photo there now is one of her that we took on the tram at epcot.  she looks cute and mom-like.  but i want to change it.

i want to change it to a photo of her urn.

you read that shit right.  my mom would totes get a kick out of that.  i want it to be a photo of her urn from the funeral, where it was all pretty and surrounded by flowers and shit.

seriously.  mom would love that.

another thing i'm sure i'll be hating on soon is mother's day.  fuck it.  fuck it right in it's stupid ass*.

on a positive note, i'll be in new york for my brother's b-day.  and for father's day.  so i can celebrate the only parent i have left.  even if he is mostly a pseudo-parent.  or sperm donor who gives me shit and buys me steak once in a while, even as he tells me he has a lunch date with a 23 year old 'dancer'.

could this post have made LESS SENSE?? 

awesome husband and i are hoping to go see disney cats and have lunch out tomorrow.  like a date? kind of cute.  what is not kind of cute?  samuel l. jackson narrating disney cats.  i can't really comment on it because stephaniec my self-proclaimed canadian sisterfromanothermister already did here and i'll mess it up.  except to shout MOTHER FUCKING CATS ON A MOTHER FUCKING PLAIN.

get it?


*i'm assuming that mother's day does not like it up the butt.  if it does, then it might enjoy that act.  and that would not be cool because the whole point of fucking mother's day up the ass, to me, is that mother's day would not enjoy it.  so if mother's day likes butt play, then i'll have to think up something else.

it certainly is a good friday.

i mean, it's THE good friday for you fun loving christians out there.  time to celebrate poor jesus getting beat the fuck up, hung on a cross to die, and buried under a huge fucking rock.

PARTY.

at least you get all those chocolate bunnies and starburst jelly beans on sunday.  not sure why, but there you go.

i remember dying eggs with my mom and brother for easter.  my mom liked hard boiled eggs (i hate them).  she'd let me help peel them sometimes, though. 

and being the horrifically imaginative child that i was, i'd take all those different colored cracked egg shells and glue them to paper to make a picture.

yup.

and my mom would ooh and ahh over them, and then probably distract me with a matchbox car or the cat or something and throw it out.  because no one in their right mind keeps TRASH glued to a piece of paper for years.  even if their kid made it.

i mean, egg shells? really?  good job, steph. 

idiot.

anyway.  it's not a BAD friday, i suppose.  i have to work for a couple of hours, do some civil rightsy project for my 'cultural diversity' class (which i call my ethnics class.  haha), and then one of my besties is coming to spend the night.  probably because she really really likes me and awesome husband.

probably not because she likes awesome husband working on her car for free.

we'll go with choice 'a'.  (just kidding, bestie.  you know i'm kiddin' ya.)

and then i have to work for two hours tomorrow morning while bestie sleeps in.  and then who knows what we'll do.  as long as it doesn't involve cleaning my house or prostitution.

other than that, i'm pretty open.  and i do have to go pick up my copy of 'mortal kombat' at game stop.  which is right near lane bryant.  which i have a $25 gift cheque to.  yes, the spell it 'cheque'.  i guess it makes it fancier than saying 'here's a $25 COUPON that you can use for anything'.  or a gift CERTIFICATE saying 'since you keep spending so much money on bras in our store, here's something to show our appreciation'.  it's a 'cheque'.  and only valid until may 1.  know when i got it?  three days after i went to lane bryant to stock up on underwear.  which is 5 for $29.

guess i'm getting more panties.

in other news, i can't sleep through the night.  because i hate waiting for shit i have no control over.  our potential buyers want to close may 18th.  MAY FUCKING EIGHTEENTH.  that gives us less than a month to pack up and find a place to live in new york.  1200 miles away from where i am now.  monday is awesome husband's last day of work, so he'll kick packing's ass.  but finding a place to live?  and technically they aren't GUARANTEED to buy the house????

??????????

i mean, they waived their right to inspection.  because they're eager to get in the house, supposedly.  and they put $1K in escrow and they have to pay for the appraisal.  so if they walk away, they're out that money.  but we have to wait for the lender/underwriter to get off their asses and order the appraisal.  that's where i'm freaking out.  because they can still walk away after the appraisal.  so it's like, do i just assume it's all going to go through and find a place to live with that may 18th date in mind, or do i wait longer and see what happens?  and what if i get us that place to live for may 18th and shit falls through?? then we'll still have to move to new york and pay for that place AND pay for the house down here until it sells.

which is why i'm on a steady diet of tarzipan and chocolate.

and tonight is not only bestie night, but chili's night.  where we go to drink margaritas and beer and have something to eat.  it's our friday night thing.  i'm finding that my tolerance for tequila seems to be slipping.

or my girls at the bar are slipping more alcohol into those presidente margaritas. 

i knew those big tips would pay off.


ALSO i did a bit of light housekeeping on my blog page.  see over there?? to the left <~~~~~  near the top.  i've connected my tweetiness to the blog!  FANTASTIC!  and you can uptweet my ass or share me on the facebook.  DO IT.  you know you want to.  i'll send you all delicious margaritay thoughts tonight if you do.

ALSO ALSO.  i lost a reader.  wish there was like a rule that when you unfollow someone, you have to say why.  like, did my bewbz offend them?  am i not funny enough?  not skinny enough?  just that much more full of The Awesome than they are? 

the world may never know.

do over

okay so apparently some people are calling shenanigans on my bewbz pictures that i posted as part of accepting my nice rack blog award.  now, in my defense i went through all the photos i have on my computer, which constist of basically every picture i've taken since 2004.

which means photos of my wedding, my honeymoon, my cats, disney, and two major car accidents that i was in. 

and not as much bewbage as you'd expect.  and the bewbz that were in my records were actually, well, bewbz.  like, fully naked bewbz from when i took photos of my nipple rings.  back when i had them.  because they migrated.

yes.  shutup.

so i was like, i guess i'll have to take new pictures that kind of showcase the bewbz a bit more.  also in my defense, i don't have a fully anonymous blog so my friends and family members read this.  including (possibly) my brother.  who hasn't ever seen my bewbz and neither of us has any desire to change that.

of course, almost everyone else that i know has seen my bewbz.  numerous times.

ANYWAY. 

here.

my bewbz in a ghostbuster shirt. you know you jealous.

more bewbz.  BEWBZ i tell you.

that's right, bitches.  these are my BEWBZ.  werd 2 yo momma.

offers and bewbz. not related.

first the offers part.  we have had two offers on the house, both for MORE than the asking price.  i am still perplexed by the real estate market and buying houses.  however, none of that matters because i have a great agent and am probably going to closing within 35 days.  we're accepting an offer today.

we listed the house monday.  LAST monday.  monday april 11. today is friday april 15. 

yup.  i'm just that awesome.

the best offer came from someone who saw the house last night.  it was a last minute showing and i'd already started dinner (empanadas).  so the smell of my delicious, non-authentic, columbian inspired emapandas was wafting through the house.

and they called my agent two hours later to inform her of the offer.

lesson: always have fresh flowers out AND empanads in your oven if you want to sell your house in a week.

obviously.

so i got this award from torystellar at can u relate?.  and it's the nice rack award.

i totes deserve this.

but it dictates that i pass it on to others as well as show a photo of my rack.  now, as much as i love my bewbz, the fact is that most of the photos i have of them are not suitable for posting online.

not because i'm ashamed or don't want you to see my migrated nipple rings.  seriously.  but because blogger would be all 'ZOMG IT'S A PLUS SIZE PRON BLOG' and shut my shit down.

yes, i actually do have a photo of one of my nipple rings migrating.  it's interesting, and sad because i loved having my nipples pierced.  once we're settled in new york again, i'm going to go a piercer recommended by sisterfromanothermister who thinks i should be able to repierce them.  fingers crossed.

anyway.  i went through the archives to find photos showcasing my bewbz while not bordering on porn.  have fun.

these are my bewbz circa 2008.  they still look basically the same.

bewbz circa 2009, after i chopped all my hair off.  that mark is from awesome husband beating me.  okay, no it's not.  it's probably from a cat stepping on me.  i have sensitive skin.

my bewbz with my brother, sisterfromanothermister, and awesome husband june 2010.

my bewbz in new york, march 2011.

yeah, i know.  pretty lame.  i feel like i should find an excuse to dress up and take tit pics (especially for stephaniec.  since she asked so nicely).  i'm sure i'll fine more bewbz pics that i'll share.  i'm practically OBLIGATED to share them now that i've gotten this nice rack award.

and now i get to pass it to some other bloggers.  i've decided to give it to people whose bewbz i wouldn't mind seeing.  not in a creepy stalker way.  i promise.

ergh.  that was awkward.

anyway, here goes.

-stephanie c at seriously?? reeeally? seriously? because i should take my chances now before she's all married.
-nicki at the loaded handbag because i don't totally have a crush on her.
-sarah p at naked cupcakes because i feel that the title of her blog alone warrants me asking her to show me her, well, cupcakes.
-the barreness at, um, the barreness, because i need to know if they're better than nigella lawson's.  it could be imperative to my fantasies research.

and i should like get back into actual blogging, and not this half assed phoning-it-in kind of crap.  one day.  i promise.  but it might not be for a while.  you might have to put up with packing and rental-house-hunting bullshit for now.

i hate packing. i hate moving.

i hate packing and moving.  although i'm excited to get back to new york to be with my family.  but let me back up a bit here.

so saturday morning i had a realtor from an investmenty company come in.  i was hoping that she'd be all like 'we'll totes offer you ALMOST what you owe on your house on the spot' and was sorely disappointed.  about $21K disappointed.  HOWEVER.  she works with this investmenty company and is an actual realtor.  the good stuff is that the investmenty company she works with, while they will not buy my house, will share the listing with their entire database of over TWENTY THOUSAND investors who are looking for something just like my house.  she then proceeded to take out the dreaded market comparison make me cry analysis which says not only is my house worth 50% less than what we paid for it less than five years ago, but houses at the price i was hoping to list at are sitting on the market for over two hundred days.  or forever, which do you prefer?  because it's the same thing to me.  she then tells me that these houses are only selling once they hit about $5-10K less than what i wanted to ask.  and shows me the houses at that price point that are comparable to mine and priced accordingly.

dude, these houses are selling in under 25 days.  some in SEVEN DAYS.  one week from listing, boom they are sold.  so it's not all about location, it's about pricing. 

and our superrealtor is coming tonight to take photos of our lovely abode and list it.  and we may be having an open house/garage sale this weekend.  superrealtor told me that many real estate peeps have gotten away from that and she thinks it sucks.  people apparently used to have combo open house/garage sales ALL THE TIME.  so they were selling their shit and their house at the same time!

genius!

and we have A LOT of shit to sell. of course, i'm secretly hoping that superrealtor will list the house tonight and have a gazillion offers by tomorrow.  not likely i know.  but maybe by like thursday?  so we can just ixnay the open house and sell this bad boy?  it's not a lot to ask, right?

awesome husband has put in his two weeks notice at work.  i know, totes putting the cart before the horse but he's fed up with his job, and we actually aren't hurting for money at this second.  so i figured he's worth more to me at home packing.  so i can keep working and doing the school thing and what not.  i gave superrealtor the moving deadline of june 1st and she seems to think that will be no problem. 

yay! 

so awesome husband will work til the end of this month and have some time to pack and move and find a job in new york.  which we also have some leads on. 

i fucking hate packing and moving and the stress.  i hate having to go through my mom's stuff to put it in boxes and bring it to new york.  i hate having to do all this shit still.  but at least it looks like it might go fairly smooth. 

ALSO! i gots me another award, and it requires a picture of my BEWBZ.  i know stephaniec will be thrilled with the idea of seeing my BEWBZ.  i'm under a lot of pressure to make sure i get the right picture chosen, so it may be a couple of days until i post info about this newest award presented to me from semi true torystellar.

eating tarzipan instead of doing adult shit

yup.  i'm eating tarzipan and blogging instead of doing things i have to do.  some days, i just wake up and hate just about everything for no reason.  i don't know what's wrong, specifically.  just everything is wrong.  here's a list of things that are wrong, that make me angry, or that i hate today:

1. the fact that the home investment company we emailed on sunday still hasn't called us back.  they guaranteed a written offer on our home in 48 hours.  which was up.  yesterdayish.  and if they're not going to make us an offer (i can't refuse, lol had to get that in there) then i want to call a proper realtor and list the house asap.
2. the fact that the stupid fraternal order of police keeps calling me.  i know you want money from me, i get it.  but don't fucking call early in the morning when i'm full of anger and still in bed.  because then i have to run across the house in my underwear to get the phone, just to see it's you.  when i was hoping it was more like #1.
3. the fact that i haven't finished our taxes yet.  and we're getting money back.  but finishing our taxes means i have to finish mom's taxes.  and she owes money.  and i don't really think i should have to pay it.  also, it just seems so final.  i don't want to do her taxes.  even though they're basically already done and i just have to review them and pull the trigger to e-file.  whatever.
4. the fact that i've started packing and don't feel like finishing.  there is A LOT to pack.  but we are not bringing a lot of shit with us.  like, quite a bit of the furniture is getting trashed/sold before we leave.  and our dishes.  because they keep chipping and i'm not transporting them to new york.  especially because i found a service for 8 that my mother had in a box somewhere.  i thought my brother had those dishes.  apparently not.
5. the fact that i have to work today.  it's not that i dislike my job, per se.  but i don't love all of the people i work with.  and i just don't fucking want to do it today.  i want to go lie in bed most of the day and watch 'twilight'.  or 'alice in wonderland'.  or 'venture bros.'
6. the fact that i'm missing spring in new york.  i know, it's really barely springish there at this point.  but it's one of my favorite times of year.  and all fall i was psyching myself up that i wouldn't have to wait another year to live through spring in new york first hand.  and then all that shit happened (you know, the mom dying thing?  that) and now i've procrastinated long enough that the house isn't sold and we're still here.
7. and i also hate that procrastination.  i don't want to do it.  whatever it is, i don't want to do it now.  i'll do it later.  later never comes.  it's not like i NEVER procrastinated before, but now it's like constant.  if it doesn't have to do with drinking, starbucks, or shopping, i will put it off until later.  could i have cleaned the house this morning?  i sure could have, but i'll wait until tomorrow.  could i be doing the fucking taxes now?  sure could, but i'm not.  could i be doing my homework now?  yup, but i'll do it later.

now i'm just waiting for the tarzipan to kick in.  hopefully it's soon. 

i spoke to my doctor a couple of months ago about using/abusing the tarzipan.  i mean, it's generic klonopin, and it might be the lowest dosage pill available, but it's still fucking klonopin.  it's not baby aspirin.  and i told him that i was using it four or five days a week, and i was worried that i might become like addicted to it.  he basically laughed and was like, dude - it's the smallest dose of klonopin known to mankind.  you're a big girl, you'll be fine. 

but i've been thinking about it.  i'm a recovering addict basically.  i haven't used illicit drugs in nine and a half years.  generally, people do drugs to escape - they want to feel what the drugs make them feel, not what they are actually feeling.  isn't that what the tarzipan is doing for me?  i take it so i don't have these anxious, panicky, scared, angry, hateful, debilitating feelings.  and my doctor prescribes it for that use.

but still - where is the line that i might cross that means i'm no longer USING the tarzipan but ABUSING it?  and the scary part is when i ask myself 'how much do i care about that line?' the answer is 'not at all'.

a story, part four

part four really starts at day three of the journey.  monday, november 22nd is 'day three', for all intents and purposes.  late saturday mom went to the er, early sunday we got the first diagnosis of cancer, and monday morning had me waking up at revbobdad's after having slept in the same bed my mom was staying in.  i packed up some underwear and tee shirts for her (in case they let her put them on) and asked my dad to drop me off at the hospital on his way to work.  he obliged and i landed in icu with mom around 8:30am. 

of course, not normal visiting hours.  yours truly has devised ways of getting around those annoying visiting hours.  they involve 'but i'm visiting from florida', 'but i can't come later', 'but the nurse said i could', etc.  my technique with icu nurses is to be super cute and super nice and smiley and superhelpful.  mom needs a pee?  i'll grab the bedpan and ring when she's done.  more ice water?  i got it.  lights on or off?  done.  after the icu nurses have seen me assist with 'their' job a few times, i mention that i really would like to spend time with mom while she's here, and i have my (book, computer, ipod, whatever) to keep me busy while she's resting.  i usually do this while handing someone water or being otherwise helpful.  icu nurse usually tells me 'oh, sure - just tell them up front that nurse fillinmynamehere said you can come back'.  it's worked every time i have had a parent in the icu so far.

yes, it's happened more than once.  revbobdad had a few bouts with ketoacidosis that landed him in the hospital/icu a few times now.  yup.

anyway.  so i set up camp in mom's little icu cubby and tried to get her to eat.  she ate a little bit but was kind of weak.  which is understandable because she hadn''t actually eaten anything useful since saturday morning.  i got her some ginger ale and turned on the television.  and sat with her all day.  she was talkative and jokey some of the time, and resting the rest of the time.  i'm sure this is the day they did the biopsy and some other tests, but i can't be sure without looking at the HUGE PILE of medical forms and bills that i'm steadfastly ignoring.  my aunt came to visit that night and was like 'stay at our place, use our extra car' and i was all yes, please.  so i had a car for a few days while mom was in the hospital.

monday was the day, if i remember correctly, where we heard the other organs were involved.  originally we had lung and brain.  monday we added liver and spleen to the list.  no one was even mentioning chemotherapy, just radiation to keep the swelling in the brain down.

so, nothing for the lung mass?  the actual cancery bits?

nope.  and no one would give us a time frame.  this is when we (when i say we, i really mean mom, my brother, and i - awesome husband and revbob dad figure into a lot of this too, but so much of this was really me, mom, and my bro) realized that the family vacation might not be an option.  but we'd have the holidays - mom would stay in new york, awesome husband and i would dump the house and just settle the mortgage, and we could be together for the time we had left.  we were kind of guesstimating a couple of months, three or four maybe.

tuesday i set off a bit later, and it was more of the same.  except this day we had some visits from social workers.  one who helped mom and i set up her healthcare proxy (me).  one who started the paperwork for her medicaid application.  we had long conversations with the worker who helped us set up the proxy.  sharon.  she was very nice, very smart, and cursed in front of me.  i appreciate a professional who can say 'shit' in the right context and know it won't offend me.  it makes me feel like i can be more like myself.  my mom's best friend from childhood came by and made mom eat some cake.  which was nice.  mom was still not eating a lot, mostly sipping water and eating bits off the trays of food they brought in.  but she was still 'mom'.

we knew we didn't have long.  we were talking about being able to take her out for thanksgiving.  her friend was talking about taking mom to her house to care for her because she would need help - real help, not the kind of help i could give her.  mom's brother and sister offered rooms to sleep in, cars to drive mom to appointments, whatever we needed until we could all be together again.

my one aunt even offered to let our loud, shouty, obnoxious cat taylor come stay with her so mom could see him one last time.  i would have liked that.  i think taylor would have too.

we had that blow on monday, that the cancer had spread.  tuesday was the first time anyone offered a stage - stage IV.  lung cancer, stage IV, also attacking her brain, liver, and spleen.  and gods knew what else at that point.  we revamped our ideas - a few weeks, right?  it was almost thanksgiving, we'd have till the holidays.  the new year.  we'd spend it together in new york, as a family.

yeah, our lives change every day.  they change depending on choices we make, paths we take.  saturday we had a mom that was freaking out because she couldn't see right.  by tuesday night we had a mom in icu with stage IV lung cancer that had spread to multiple sites and was not treatable.

things were about to change again.

and on top of that, it's sunday.

i'm sorry i've been such a bad blog buddy.  really.  it's just some days, i don't know what to blog about.  some days, i think about blogging and then i chase a cat into mom's room and am overwhelmed with her smell.  then i forget what i was going to blog about.  i had SO MANY ideas on the cruise that i wanted to blog about.  stuff about nassau, royal caribbean, the lady that i decided i wanted to adopt as my new grandma, the multitude of scantily clad spring breakers (thank you, who ever invented the bikini).  all the rum i drank, dark rum mixed with ice and fruit juices and other rums with a bit more rum on top.  the amount of money i spent. ergh, no i don't really want to blog about that one lol.  we did spend more than i wanted to on an excursion, but it was really fun and we might do it our own way next time around.  because i really don't think there is much point to nassau.  it's like queens, but with more islanders and less greeks and jews.  and they're much more open about offering you pot or coke.

anyway.

i woke up early today thanks to the fucking cats.  they cannot stop fighting and/or waking me up for no apparent reason.  it's okay though, awesome husband and i had plans today.  of course, plans never go according to plan.  we were supposed to wake up, have breakfast, do some organizing/cleaning/packing, play some video games, have some dinner, and watch some movies. 

breakfast was had.  i made bacon (not nearly as good as my father's bacon).  well, i didn't MAKE it.  i cooked it.  it was okay.  and there were eggs to be had.  then awesome husband was on garage-cleaning duty and i was going to start packing up some of the tchotchkes we have around this house. 


*editor's note: blogger is trying to tell me that 'tchotchkes' is misspelled.  blogger is wrong.  

mom had lots of little, breakable things that i've been saving shoe boxes to pack in.  so i packed up some of her glass paperweights, her little breakable thingamajigs, and some of my belleek.

*editor's note AGAIN.  blogger says 'thingamajigs' is correctly spelled.  fucking blogger.

so i packed up all these teensy things in shoe boxes, then packed the shoe boxes in one bigger box.  and then i made awesome husband help go through some of the totes and boxes he found in the garage.  and then i wanted to go through some of mom's clothes - might as well get rid of what's left.  especially since i listed some of the cooler stuff on ebay TWO TIMES to donate 90% of the proceeds to the american cancer society and only three things sold.  out of like 18.  damn it.  so the rest goes to charity.  and now i'm not sure i should bother listing any of her shoes.  so i'm keeping two pairs that are meaningful until i get to new york so my brother and i can decide what to do with them.

anyway.

and there was a mets game on.  that i was watching while we were packing shit up.  and awesome husband gets all 'i guess i won't be able to play video games' and i got all pissy like WHAT THE FUCK I'M WATCHING A METS GAME NOW IT WILL NOT BE ON ALL FUCKING DAY.  i didn't say that.  i just thought it.  but really, it was like 2pm and we were still pack-clean-organizing and no WAY i'm doing that shit while he plays fucking red dead redemption.  i don't care how excited he is about it.

so finally we're done and we jump in the shower, and the mets game is almost over.  we watch the mets kick the marlin's collective fishy asses and then awesome husband boots up the xbox in the middle of a conversation.

most women in a long-term relationship probably all made the same noise just now.  it's remarkably like an 'nuh UH'.  or 'no way'.  or 'whatthefuckiswrongwithhim'.

we were having a discussion about when he wants to put his notice in at work.  we've settled on june 1st as our goal date to be in new york.  i've gotten some reports from realtors on what the house is worth, we've discussed getting a small storage unit to keep the boxes in, we've discussed what's going and what's not, and we paid some guy named manuel to rip a bush out of the ground on the side of the house.  we're hoping to have a realtor in by friday to get the house listed.  so we're in the middle of 'when can i put my two weeks notice in?' and 'but then we lose medical and i need my pristiq-tarzipan cocktail' and 'are we even going to bother going to new york for easter?' and nothing has been settled.

nothing.

and he turns on the fucking xbox.  so i kind of lost it.

well, i got mopey and all 'whatever, play your game' and awesome husband is like 'you can play yours too' (i got the sims medieval and while i'm excited about it, i still haven't even loaded it on my mac).  and i was all WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION and he just didn't fucking get it and i got tired, like really tired to my bones.  so i went to lie down for a nap, figuring he'd play his stupid fucking game.

and of course, THAT'S when he decides that the game can wait, after i've already EXHAUSTED myself emotionally by packing up mom's shit and trying to decide my life and arguing with him.  he comes in all apologetic and adorable and carrying the macbook pro like 'let's see if mom's name was removed from the mortgage, at least' because we can't really do ANYTHING until that happens (which it has).  and then he starts making sense and talking like a grown up and instead of being happy that it's getting settled and we're talking about it, i get ANGRIER because why the fuck are you doing this NOW?  what about an hour ago when i was OBVIOUSLY pissed about you playing your game?  instead of wasting that hour of me whining and bitching and trying not to cry and getting headachy while you stare blankly at me, silently enough that i'm not sure you're even fucking listening to me, WHY didn't we have this convo an hour ago?  because now it's even later, and we've still not solved anything, and you're still not playing your stupidfuckinggame.


so then he started playing his game.  and i started this blog post.  and he was like 'why don't i set a time on how long i can play, so i don't play too long and we can watch a movie together' and i'm thinking, 'gosh, that's thoughtful, he's not so bad after all' and he says, yeah, i'll only play for AN HOUR AND A HALF. 

yeah, that's not too long at all.

then awesome husband got all squirrely like 'why don't you load the sims on your mac and play?' because he just can't understand how i'm not like ZOMGIHAVEANEWGAMEIHAVETOPLAYITRIGHTAWAYFORHOURSONEND. like he is.

anyway.  so i spent the day smelling my dead mom while going through her shit and being pissed at awesome husband.  and all i have to show for it is three boxes, a raging headache, and this blog post.

sorry for being a downer, guys.  hey, at least you have house selling blogs to look forward to!  hopefully i end up with lots of interesting people looking at the house that i can make fun of with you.