what a difference four and a half years makes.

today is day four of my four day weekend.

four day weekend, you ask?

yes. i had the typical saturday/sunday weekend, monday for memorial day, and awesome husband @_antgas and i took off today for a very good reason.

i graduate today!

that's right, the strange journey that started back in august of 2010 with a mini nervous breakdown and a fateful trip to a psychiatrist is ending. i originally started my undergrad to get an associates just so i could put it on my resume. now i'm graduating with a bachelors in community health and human services.... and planning to go onto graduate school.

a lot of ridiculous, awesome, and horrifying things have happened since i decided to return to school. my mother was suddenly taken ill and died peacefully.

we rescued another hysterical kitten (who has turned into a maniac). we moved back to new york. i became a body piercer for a while. i decided to continue my education and realized a lot about life in the process.

taylor crossed the rainbow bridge. i fought with my gallbladder and lost and later willingly barbecued my uterus. we moved even further out in the 'burbs.

i was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and failed every medication i tried. i landed an internship. piglet was diagnosed with kidney failure and then had to have her canines removed. i also was hired as a paid counselor at my internship. and soon thereafter, i sat for my CASAC exam and was hired on as a full time counselor. i stopped taking any medications for RA and am surviving as best i can.

my little brother got married. and then we got a puppy and i started a new medication for my mental health issues.

and today, i graduate. and i've been accepted to three graduate programs and have pretty much decided on one. i will be going for my MSW and hope to complete in about three, three and a half years. it's been a ridiculous journey; sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes i can't remember what it was like before i was a counselor.

thankfully, my therapist is working today since the office was closed yesterday. i am a jumbled mass of conflicting emotions and ideas. but i am really excited to be graduating and opening a new chapter in my life. well, at the end of august when grad school starts.

wondering....

i love pinterest.  a lot.  i pin lots of stuff.  guess what my pinterest handle is?  go on, guess.

steph gas.

surprising, i know.

anyhow, i have a few different boards: body modifications, meat-free food, stuff i love.  whatever.  one of the biggest problems i have with the tattoo and piercing pins are that they're all the same shit.  it's the same handful of tattoos over and over.  the same mermaid drawings that say 'omg this will be my next tattoo'.  the same photo of a skinny girl with text on her ribs that says 'i love the placement but not the words'.  and even the 'i don't like tattoos, but if i ever got one, it would be like this'.

if you don't like tattoos.... why the everliving fuck are you looking at tattoos on pinterest??!

it's the same with piercings.  tons of triple forward helix piercings, double lip piercings, cute earrings, and some surface piercings.  and of course, the play piercings.  often with a comment about how bad they are or how stupid they look or 'ew' or something like that.

i think play piercings are exquisite.

****photos may not be safe for work/family.  also may be triggering to some people.  proceed with caution***

















some are kind of lame...

from bmezine.com.  pretty basic.

some are kind of strange....

from mythrabodyart.deviantart.com

.... and some are seriously exquisite.  specific, carefully planned works of art.

posted on a random blog, originally from body piercers.org

discovered on tumblr: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/play-piercings

found at http://weheartit.com/entry/26478039

it is mainly done for artistic purposes.  the needles used are small gauge and will stay in place for a few hours at most.  then they are removed and the holes close up.  

perhaps even more intriguing to me is pulling or suspension.  this is when piercings are used to anchor string or something like it.  the piercings are not like normal piercings - they are done with special hooks.  

http://weheartit.com/entry/26478039

https://www.facebook.com/UrbanRitualsPiercingsAndSuspension?filter=1

pulling is a ritualistic action where play piercings with hooks are used to connect a person to another living thing, often other people.  one person may lean back, 'pulling' on the piercings of the other participant(s); then another leans back and pulls on the piercings, etc.  it's done in a rhythmic way and often is used to raise and pool energy.

http://blog.bodycandy.com/2013/05/15/extreme-body-mod-hook-suspensions-and-energy-pulls/

another FYI, if you do google play piercings, some of the images are disturbing.  i think some people do it as a form of self-mutilation or as a part of blood play or something.  because there is really no reason for that much blood to be all over the place.  some of those photos.... ugh.

last sunday the tattoo parlor i apprenticed at held their annual tattoos for cancer research fundraiser.  select tattoos are done for a set donation.  last year and this year they added piercings, which i was honored to perform.  i did about 15 piercings for a great cause.  it was actually the first time i'd pierced in about a year, and it felt great.  i was a bit worried that i might be rusty (hahaha get it?  but really, surgical stainless steel doesn't rust) - i wasn't.  it was like riding a bike; once i got in the piercing room and familiarized myself with where everything was (this was in a new shop), it was like i'd never stopped piercing.

it made me wonder, for a moment, if i'd made a mistake.  maybe i shouldn't have stopped piercing.  then i remember how much money i was making (none) and all the neat stuff that's happened in the last year.  not that most of that stuff wouldn't have happened if i kept piercing, but it's not like i wasted a year.  i'd like to go back to piercing a day or two a week, just to get back into it and make a few bucks. because social work ain't paying the bills either.

but piercing will never pay the bills.  professional piercers are few and far between.  i've only met three people that eek out a living by piercing.  many tattoo artists also pierce, but it's not their bread and butter.  i could spend years perfecting my technique, even do another apprenticeship under someone who specializes in something different: surface piercings, genital piercings, whatever.  i could spend years becoming a great piercer - but to what end?  there's not a huge market for body piercers.  i'm never going to retire off the money i make sticking extra holes in people.  if i was or wanted to be a tattooist as well, that would be a different story.

'just a piercer'.  that's probably all i'll ever be in the body modification industry.  just a piercer and an enthusiast.

i feel like that happens to me a lot.  i wonder if i made the right choice, went in the right direction.  wondering if i should have taken out all these student loans.  wondering if i should have filled up the gas tank on the way home in case prices jump overnight.  wondering if i should clean the litter boxes tonight or tomorrow morning.  wondering if i'm ever going to make a living as a counselor.

so many unanswered questions.  life is a fascinating journey, isn't it?

ergh. hello there.

my bad, y'all.  i've been so busy and crap that i just keep forgetting to blog.  but i have stories, loves.

i'm still on the whole nothavingtimetodoanything wagon.  i wake up, go to the gym (most days), work at home, go to the shop, hopefully stick some needles in people, come home.  if i get home earlyish, i make and eat dinner.  if i work until 10, i take off my makeup and fall into bed.  during down time at the shop, i do my college coursework.  and on my days off from the shop, i try to get some food shopping done, watch a movie, and go get shit done.  because on my days off from the shop, i still do the work-from-home thing.

it's a lot.  like, a lot a lot.  if i didn't have happy pills and tarzipan, i'm not sure it would be possible.  but this is what grown ups do... right?  i'm not working two jobs because we need the money.  i'm working two jobs because i want to be bringing some income in while piercing.  hopefully the more piercings i do, more people will want to come let me pierce them, and i'll start making more money, and maybe i won't need the work-at-home job for income.

because the i'd basically be doing something i really like.  something that i enjoy.  which is really great.  how many people get to say that?

in cat news, jake is ridiculous.  apparently he only loves me when i'm naked and dripping wet. 

i know how that sounds.  but wait a moment.

so when i shower, i always leave the bathroom door cracked so the cats can get to the litter boxes if they need to.  jake's new thing is to come into the bathroom while i'm in the shower and wait on the bath mat.  if he's not in there the whole time, he rushes in once he hears the shower curtain open.  as soon as i step onto the bathmat, jake starts rubbing on my legs, purring.  and getting wet because i've not toweled off yet.  and if i don't step out of the shower fast enough, he jumps up on the side of the tub to try and reach me.  he will stretch out and put his paws on my thighs. 

jake rubs all over my legs, purring and kneading the bathmat, while i start getting dressed.  then i have to sit on the side of the tub so he can jump up on my lap and keep making muffins on me.  and i scratch his little face and he purrs and rubs his face on my hands and digs his claws into my thighs and loves me.

the rest of the time, he just fucking ignores me. 

also, i know i've not told any of you about my awesome vacation to disney world or posted the gazillion photos that were taken, but i will do that really soon.  i hope.  i'm off tomorrow and awesome husband will be away on business, so i may have time to shop for shoes i don't need/eat too many twizzlers/watch 'breaking dawn: part 1' again/organize photos/post said photos.  we'll see. 

fingers crossed.

and finally tonight, i've gotten a new tattoo.  it's a jellyfish.  to go with my mermaid.  i kind of want to post photos, but it's in the peely stage and will look better once it's healed.  so you'll have to wait.

you like how i did that?  dangled that tantalizing tidbit in front of you to ensure you keep coming back for more?

as if my tattoos would keep you coming back for more.  

the final countdown

we're going on vacation.  i'm very excited to get back to disney.  it's been over a year since awesome husband and i have been to disney and the last time was to DEFINITELY NOT scatter any of my mother's ashes on pirates of the caribbean.  we would never do that.

awesome husband, my brother, and sisterfromanothermister will be going to disney together.  we're really excited to go back because it's been so long - awesome husband and i are used to going, like, two or three times a month.  we also got the dining plan so we'll be eating like kings and queens! lol

so the body piercing thing is going really well.  i've made a few mistakes and have learned from them, which is great.  not HUGE mistakes, but you know.  fixable mistakes.  fixable thanks to the fact that my mentor has been piercing for 29 years and is AMAZING.  i've pierced quite a few ears, belly buttons, and lips.  and a handful of nostrils, tongues, and eyebrows.  i'm still waiting on a septum, monroe, medusa, and nipple - then i'll have done every piercing above the belt :D

and on the adult acne front, things are getting better.  bet some of you didn't know that in addition to the batshit crazy, i also suffer from adult acne, did you? 

now you do.

anyway, nothing ever works at all.  so i decided to start getting facials and see if that helps.  the spa i found was well-reviewed for acne facials so i headed over.  i went three weeks in a row at $80 a pop (ouch) and purchased $140 worth of the product they recommended (also ouch).  and today i paid $130 for a non-acid peel (ouchouchouchouch).  HOWEVER my skin hasn't looked this clear in years!  i'm going through some purging right now so i have a few pimples that come up and go away quickly, and i'm getting some drying.  once my skin balances, it should look pretty good.  it's already really smooth, my aesthetician says that the ultrasound thingy does that.  i mean, smoothy smooth smooth.  hopefully once my skin balances we can work on the acne scarring and see if that can be improved.  and now i only have to go every 3-4 weeks for a facial.  and i was spending about $120 a month on shit that wasn't working.  really fucking frustrating.  so i'm pleased today.

awesome husband got an awesome new tattoo.  i wanted to show it to you all.

yes, he's hardcore. he also likes hardcore music.  so, you know.  it means many things.  although he did point out that his right hand will always say 'hard' now.

a serious post about body modification.

i know, a SERIOUS post here?

sisterfromanothermister had posted on facebook about these videos, and it reminded me about how much i fucking hate them.  i hate these videos and i hate the stereotypes that accompany being modified.

for my new readers and to spark other's memories, i am modified.  i have both of my nostrils pierced, two lower lip piercings (one on each side), and my ear lobes stretched to 6g, or 4mm.  i have nine tattoos, on my upper arms, legs, back, shoulder, and neck.  one is always visible, another is usually visible.  i also have pink and orange hair.  which is awesome.  but not really considered a modification by most people.

i am going to link to both of these videos here.  the piercing one does show an actual lip piercing, so if you're super squeamish about needles, you might want to skip it.







okay.  now i will be the first to say that i think that chick has a few too many piercings on her face, but guess what?  it's not my face.  so it's not my decision.  i personally wouldn't have that many.  but i think she's beautiful and unique and being true to herself.  i think the guy with all the tattoos is amazing.  his body is truly a canvas and he too is beautiful and being true to himself.

HOWEVER the 'organization' that posted these videos is using them in an anti-binge drinking campaign with the slogan 'some people just don't know when to stop'.

so they are comparing BINGE DRINKING with HEAVY BODY MODIFICATION.

while it is true that there can be health complications with some body modification, there is no way that it is anywhere NEAR as harmful to people as binge drinking.  my piercings and tattoos do NOT directly affect anyone except me.  binge drinking can affect not only the drinker, but those around them - friends, family, etc.  and forget about if they get in a car - they are basically a fucking accident waiting to happen.

i guess i felt the need to share this for a few reasons.  one is to prove that not all modified people are the same - we are typically stereotyped into young people with psychotic disorders, young people trying to be different and/or fit in, bikers, oddballs, freaks, what have you.  many of us are mostly normal people, living the same kind of life that you are, just with a couple of extra holes in our bodies.  there is no reason to change tables and not sit near us.  i have personally experienced shit like that more times than i care to count.  at diners, awesome husband and i have been seated in the noisy teenager section, i'm sure because of how we look, and we are quiet, courteous adults who should not have to put up with that bullshit.  we too are paying customers and are capable of acting like adults instead of hyenas on fucking crack.

videos like this just do more to make modified people look more like outsiders, like we're crazy (i mean, i AM crazy, but that hasn't anything to do with my modifications) or dangerous.  it fucking EQUATES US TO BINGE DRINKERS.

let me know what you think.  i know i'm overly sensitive to shit like this, but still.  does knowing about my piercings and tattoos change how you feel about what i write?  or make you look at me in a different way?  do you find yourself looking at or treating modified people differently?  SHARING TIME!

tarzipan ftw

omg i swear i'm working on a super new blog post about my vacation last week.  HOWEVER.  i took lots of tarzipan today and spent about two-thirds of the day in bed.  i'm also trying to figure out how to watermark photos with picasa to put on mah blog but all copyrighted and shit.  because DON'T STEAL MY STUFF ASSHATS.

in cute news, samantha cuddled with me this morning while i was still in bed for like two hours.  it was very warm and loving and adorable.  since then, she has hissed at awesome husband and been mostly normal.

in school news, i created my reference list today.  i am full of the win because i figured out how to cite an aerosmith video as a source.  thank you.  hold your applause.

in batshit crazy news, i had a horrifying day for some reason.  hence the 'lots of tarzipan'.  and i watching a bunch of venture brothers today, too.  because, obviously.

in television news, we watched ghost hunters.  and are now watching south park.  it is the episode where they fucking RIP jersey shore.  it's.... oh my gah.  it's amazing.  snookie just raped cartman. 

amazing.  just..... amazing.

in piercing news, i pulled my nosering out today.  the wrong way.  noserings twist around on the inside of your nose to keep it in, called a nose screw.  now, i vigorously dried my face this morning with a terry towel.  one of the terry loops got caught around the little nose screw thing.  and pulled the nose ring THROUGH MY NOSE to the INSIDE.  so, the little half-dome head that sits on my nose that is larger than the actual piercing hole was pulled through the piercing. 

and got stuck.  so the 1.6mm half dome was stuck inside the fistula, the piercing hole, which is only 1mm large.  and it hurt.

and it was fucking stuck.  seriously.  i couldn't push it back through my nose, so i was like, well, let's lube it up and try to yank it all the way through to the inside of my nose.

so i dumped a bunch of olive oil in and on my nose and rubbed it in a bit, then got another straight nose ring to try and help push it through from the outside. 

nothing doing.  it was full of SUCKTITUDE.

finally, i did some deep, relaxing breathing and fucking yanked that bitch out.  OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIE.

and now my nose hurts.  quite a bit.  i put a glass ring in because it has much less of a bend, so less pressure trying to get it in there.  ouchouchouch though.

awesome husband is taking me and my tarzipan to bed.  maybe we'll watch some venture brothers.  maybe that tarzipan episode.  hmmm..

until then, keep your unit on you.