today is day four of my four day weekend.
four day weekend, you ask?
yes. i had the typical saturday/sunday weekend, monday for memorial day, and awesome husband @_antgas and i took off today for a very good reason.
i graduate today!
that's right, the strange journey that started back in august of 2010 with a mini nervous breakdown and a fateful trip to a psychiatrist is ending. i originally started my undergrad to get an associates just so i could put it on my resume. now i'm graduating with a bachelors in community health and human services.... and planning to go onto graduate school.
a lot of ridiculous, awesome, and horrifying things have happened since i decided to return to school. my mother was suddenly taken ill and died peacefully.
we rescued another hysterical kitten (who has turned into a maniac). we moved back to new york. i became a body piercer for a while. i decided to continue my education and realized a lot about life in the process.
taylor crossed the rainbow bridge. i fought with my gallbladder and lost and later willingly barbecued my uterus. we moved even further out in the 'burbs.
i was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and failed every medication i tried. i landed an internship. piglet was diagnosed with kidney failure and then had to have her canines removed. i also was hired as a paid counselor at my internship. and soon thereafter, i sat for my CASAC exam and was hired on as a full time counselor. i stopped taking any medications for RA and am surviving as best i can.
my little brother got married. and then we got a puppy and i started a new medication for my mental health issues.
and today, i graduate. and i've been accepted to three graduate programs and have pretty much decided on one. i will be going for my MSW and hope to complete in about three, three and a half years. it's been a ridiculous journey; sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes i can't remember what it was like before i was a counselor.
thankfully, my therapist is working today since the office was closed yesterday. i am a jumbled mass of conflicting emotions and ideas. but i am really excited to be graduating and opening a new chapter in my life. well, at the end of august when grad school starts.
Showing posts with label herpescat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label herpescat. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
how i make my cat food
yup, i make my own cat food now. piglet won't eat it, of course, and she's probably the one who needs it. she's in kidney failure and i started making cat food so i could control the ingredients and the phosphorous levels, which is important when cats have kidney failure. so piglet won't eat it, but jake and samantha love love love it.
please check with your vet. i am not a vet. cats have specific nutritional needs and this diet may NOT meet AAFCO standards like commercial pet foods. this recipe in particular does not have the calcium to phosphorus ratio that commercial pet foods have. i did this on purpose to try and positively effect piglet's kidneys. i am confident that it is appropriate for my cats based on their needs.
there are many theories as to why diabetes, obesity, and kidney failure is so common in today's pet cats. i believe it is because we humans are lazy and feed cats whatever is easiest for us. kibble is crap. it's full of bacteria and questionable ingredients and stuff that cats actually cannot digest. cats do not have the digestive enzymes that help digest vegetables and fruit. cats have no need for added veggies and fruit. nor do they need grain carbohydrates like corn, wheat, or rice. cats are obligate carnivores - all they need is meat. cats in the wild eat birds and rodents (fur and feathers), often eating the entire carcass EXCEPT for the innards - stomach, intestines, digestive stuffs. cats eat the bones - they're full of calcium (and phosphorus) and help keep their teeth in good shape.
ingredients - all measurements are raw:
5 to 5.5lbs chicken thighs, boneless (if using skin, remove at least half of the skin - do not trim fat)
4oz chicken livers
8oz chicken hearts
3 eggs, whole - cooked
3 egg whites - cooked
4000mg taurine - buy capsules
1/2tsp lite salt - in the spice aisle (morton makes it)
1 capsule jarrow b-right complex - b complex vitamins STINK. jarrow b-right is very low odor and non offensive to my cats.
200iu dry vitamin e - buy capsules
5 1000mg capsules fish oil
eggshell powder (5-6tsp)
1. cook your chicken bits. i put all the thighs in one 9x13" pyrex, and i put the livers and hearts into an 8" pyrex. i put a little bit of water in with the hearts and livers, maybe 1/4 cup. i use an electric thermometer, which i can set to a specific degree and it beeps so i know my chicken is done. (i cook to 150º, which should kill the most dangerous bacteria - cats have sturdy digestive tracts and can handle way more bacteria than we can.) cover your pyrex dishes tightly with foil and pop in a 350º oven.
7. while grinding, feel free to pop your egg shells in a warm oven or toaster oven - we're not really cooking them, just drying them out a bit. if they start browning, you should turn down the heat. i leave mine in the toaster at around 200º for maybe 8 minutes.
8. so at this point, you should have a big bowl of ground up thighs, livers, and hearts - oh, and if you didn't feed your scrambled eggs through the grinder already, pop them in the bowl now...
9. now you have an empty bowl that used to hold the cooked meaty bits. rinse that out and grab a strainer. strain the liquid from the 9x13" thigh pyrex into this bowl.
10. sometimes you can use what's left in the strainer - if it's small, mushy, fatty pieces, feel free to throw them in the ground mixture. you'll mix your supplements into this liquid - open and empty the taurine, dry e, and b-right capsules into the liquid. poke holes in the fish oil capsules and squeeze out the oil (if you still have the grinder up, grind the empty gelatin capsules from the fish oil - gelatin is found naturally in bones, so adding it might be good for the cats. or throw them out. whatever.). measure out your lite salt and add that. stir or whisk, just get everything as combined as you can.
11. now we have the eggshell powder. those dried eggshells you had in the oven? you can put them in a food processor (very, very dusty) or grind them by hand with a mortar and pestle. that's what i do. i sit on the couch and watch tv while i do it.
12. the eggshell powder won't dissolve in the liquid. so you can pour it right into the ground mix bowl, and then pour in the bowl full of liquid.
13. mix well. i like my cat food to be smushy but not wet. a bit drier than canned cat food pate. if it seems a little dry, add in the liquid from the 8" pyrex that we cooked the liver and hearts in. mix mix mix. you want everything combined and the eggshell all throughout and the egg mixed in well.
14. section it out. i use quart size freezer bags and a food scale. i put 9 ounces of food into each freezer bag, then squish out the air, flatten it, and place it in the freezer. this feeds jake and samantha for one day; they get about 1.5oz at each of three feedings. it will take almost 24 hours to defrost in the fridge. if it seems a bit dry coming out of the freezer, add some warm water to moisten it. jake and samantha like it as-is without any added water.
i modified this recipe based on recipes i found on the cat site, and i'm comfortable with the nutritional content. jake and samantha really seem to enjoy it; piglet not so much. she's been seeming sickly the last week or ten days though... i'm waiting for her most recent blood work results and then we'll see what our next steps are.
if you want to feed your cats a raw or home cooked diet, do the research. not many vets support it, so it's up to you to do the research. if you can get a nutritional analysis to show your vet, he or she may be more on board. or maybe you'll be lucky enough to find a vet who supports home cooked/raw foods and helps you develop a diet. another option is to use a balanced mix - you supply the meat and buy this premix; once you add it in and mix it all up, it's nutritionally balanced for cats. a few premixes that are well regarded are TCfeline, Alnutrin, and Feline Instincts. If you're hoping to learn more about why to feed your cats like this, check out catinfo.org where dr. lisa pierson - a vet - shares what she's learned about feeding her cats.
does anyone else feed their cats home cooked or raw?
please check with your vet. i am not a vet. cats have specific nutritional needs and this diet may NOT meet AAFCO standards like commercial pet foods. this recipe in particular does not have the calcium to phosphorus ratio that commercial pet foods have. i did this on purpose to try and positively effect piglet's kidneys. i am confident that it is appropriate for my cats based on their needs.
there are many theories as to why diabetes, obesity, and kidney failure is so common in today's pet cats. i believe it is because we humans are lazy and feed cats whatever is easiest for us. kibble is crap. it's full of bacteria and questionable ingredients and stuff that cats actually cannot digest. cats do not have the digestive enzymes that help digest vegetables and fruit. cats have no need for added veggies and fruit. nor do they need grain carbohydrates like corn, wheat, or rice. cats are obligate carnivores - all they need is meat. cats in the wild eat birds and rodents (fur and feathers), often eating the entire carcass EXCEPT for the innards - stomach, intestines, digestive stuffs. cats eat the bones - they're full of calcium (and phosphorus) and help keep their teeth in good shape.
ingredients - all measurements are raw:
5 to 5.5lbs chicken thighs, boneless (if using skin, remove at least half of the skin - do not trim fat)
4oz chicken livers
8oz chicken hearts
3 eggs, whole - cooked
3 egg whites - cooked
4000mg taurine - buy capsules
1/2tsp lite salt - in the spice aisle (morton makes it)
1 capsule jarrow b-right complex - b complex vitamins STINK. jarrow b-right is very low odor and non offensive to my cats.
200iu dry vitamin e - buy capsules
5 1000mg capsules fish oil
eggshell powder (5-6tsp)
 |
| raw chicken thighs - some had bones in them. i don't recommend doing that. it's annoying. |
2. wait. the livers and hearts may be a little overcooked. feel free to take them out after about 15 minutes if you prefer. i'm lazy and don't care enough. listen, cats eat this stuff raw, too. the cooking is mainly because my cats eat slow and you can't leave raw food out for the cats for more than about 30 minutes. cooked food, i can leave out a bit longer if they're still grazing.
3. gather your crap. you'll want to prepare your grinder, the bowl you're grinding stuff into, and get another bowl to mix stuff in. get all your supplements together.
 |
| all my supplements - fish oil, jarrow b-right, taurine dry e, and lite salt. |
4. cook your eggs. i scramble them. SAVE THE SHELLS - rinse them out and set them aside for a few.
5. when your thighs and livers and hearts come out of the oven, remove the meaty parts from the dishes and put them in your bowl in the sink. run cold water in this bowl over all the meaty parts to stop the cooking (and make them easier to handle in a shorter amount of time). RESERVE THE LIQUID IN THE PYREX DISHES - you'll need this.
 |
| this is after i ran the thighs in cool water to stop the cooking and deboned the thighs. which was really annoying. leave the skin and fat on - it's good for the cats. |
6. when the chicken parts are cool enough to handle, start grinding. i keep a 7" knife on hand to cut the thighs into pieces small enough to feed through my grinding tube thingy. every couple of thighs that i grind, i toss in a few hearts, some liver, some scrambled egg (unless i forget, then i mix in the egg at the end).
 |
| i use the grinder accessory on my kitchen aid stand mixer, and it handles the chicken parts wonderfully. it will NOT handle bones, so don't try it. and my recipe has NO bones in it. |
7. while grinding, feel free to pop your egg shells in a warm oven or toaster oven - we're not really cooking them, just drying them out a bit. if they start browning, you should turn down the heat. i leave mine in the toaster at around 200º for maybe 8 minutes.
 |
| my toaster oven is old and nasty. i want a new one, but i want a cool color. they don't come in cool colors. |
8. so at this point, you should have a big bowl of ground up thighs, livers, and hearts - oh, and if you didn't feed your scrambled eggs through the grinder already, pop them in the bowl now...
 |
| ground mix - thighs, hearts, liver, and i tossed in the lightly scrambled eggs. |
9. now you have an empty bowl that used to hold the cooked meaty bits. rinse that out and grab a strainer. strain the liquid from the 9x13" thigh pyrex into this bowl.
 |
| chicken drippings. yum.... not really, yuck. |
10. sometimes you can use what's left in the strainer - if it's small, mushy, fatty pieces, feel free to throw them in the ground mixture. you'll mix your supplements into this liquid - open and empty the taurine, dry e, and b-right capsules into the liquid. poke holes in the fish oil capsules and squeeze out the oil (if you still have the grinder up, grind the empty gelatin capsules from the fish oil - gelatin is found naturally in bones, so adding it might be good for the cats. or throw them out. whatever.). measure out your lite salt and add that. stir or whisk, just get everything as combined as you can.
11. now we have the eggshell powder. those dried eggshells you had in the oven? you can put them in a food processor (very, very dusty) or grind them by hand with a mortar and pestle. that's what i do. i sit on the couch and watch tv while i do it.
 |
| this is my marble mortar and pestle. i roughly crunch up the eggshells and then spend about ten minutes working them into a finer powder. it's not SUPER fine, but it's better than using the cuisinart because the dust is ridiculous. |
12. the eggshell powder won't dissolve in the liquid. so you can pour it right into the ground mix bowl, and then pour in the bowl full of liquid.
 |
| adding the chicken drippings with the supplements mixed in. |
13. mix well. i like my cat food to be smushy but not wet. a bit drier than canned cat food pate. if it seems a little dry, add in the liquid from the 8" pyrex that we cooked the liver and hearts in. mix mix mix. you want everything combined and the eggshell all throughout and the egg mixed in well.
 |
| all mixed up and ready to portion out. |
14. section it out. i use quart size freezer bags and a food scale. i put 9 ounces of food into each freezer bag, then squish out the air, flatten it, and place it in the freezer. this feeds jake and samantha for one day; they get about 1.5oz at each of three feedings. it will take almost 24 hours to defrost in the fridge. if it seems a bit dry coming out of the freezer, add some warm water to moisten it. jake and samantha like it as-is without any added water.
i modified this recipe based on recipes i found on the cat site, and i'm comfortable with the nutritional content. jake and samantha really seem to enjoy it; piglet not so much. she's been seeming sickly the last week or ten days though... i'm waiting for her most recent blood work results and then we'll see what our next steps are.
if you want to feed your cats a raw or home cooked diet, do the research. not many vets support it, so it's up to you to do the research. if you can get a nutritional analysis to show your vet, he or she may be more on board. or maybe you'll be lucky enough to find a vet who supports home cooked/raw foods and helps you develop a diet. another option is to use a balanced mix - you supply the meat and buy this premix; once you add it in and mix it all up, it's nutritionally balanced for cats. a few premixes that are well regarded are TCfeline, Alnutrin, and Feline Instincts. If you're hoping to learn more about why to feed your cats like this, check out catinfo.org where dr. lisa pierson - a vet - shares what she's learned about feeding her cats.
does anyone else feed their cats home cooked or raw?
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
update on awesome husband & piglet...
awesome husband @_antgas is no longer sick. he's all better. and back to work. thank goodness.
but now he's got some pinched nerve or something or other. he wakes up every night in pain now, around his neck and shoulders. ugh.
now, me on the other hand. i spent five days fighting with aetna insurance again trying to get my damn humira. i got it. damn it. damn it.
and then my rheumy is leaving. moving to texas. so i have to find a new rheumy. and start over with that relationship. damn it. DAMN IT.
i took my humira on saturday. then sunday, monday, and tuesday nights i had so much trouble sleeping! i don't remember this happening the first two times i took humira. but i've been having really shattered sleep, like i keep waking up. i go to bed at 9pm and sleep until 7am (i stayed up until 10pm last night, barely). and then i have really vivid, really ridiculous dreams. mostly drug dreams and sex dreams. and the most annoying part is that i wake up and think about how stupid crazy the dream is, then roll over to go back to sleep... AND THE DREAM CONTINUES.
ridiculous.
piglet did well at her holistic vet appointment. he handed me a $1200 estimate, including over $600 for X-rays... fucking X-rays. i paid $300 for a nutritional consult - i filled out some paperwork about what i've fed piglet, what kind of things i want to do (feed raw, home cooked, etc) - and that paperwork goes to a veterinary nutritionist who reviews piglet's most recent vet records and designs a specialized diet for her. i'm excited about it and hopeful that i can modify some of it to feed samantha and jake that food too. holistic vet also wants us to give piglet chinese herbs to support renal function and acupuncture.
we believe in acupuncture. but this holistic vet wanted to charge $95 for acupuncture AND the $77 office visit fee... and it's 35 minutes away and piglet hates the car. so i did some calling and found a very local veterinary emergency clinic that has an acupuncturist on site that charges around $50 - the only thing i have to do is pay $150 for a one-time consult. i'll live with that. piglet will have acupuncture once a week for at least a few months.
and then holistic vet will take blood again and we'll see what piglet's kidneys are doing. but she seems to be feeling well - piglet eats and drinks and runs and plays and stomps on me with her pretty pointy feet.
love it.
but now he's got some pinched nerve or something or other. he wakes up every night in pain now, around his neck and shoulders. ugh.
now, me on the other hand. i spent five days fighting with aetna insurance again trying to get my damn humira. i got it. damn it. damn it.
and then my rheumy is leaving. moving to texas. so i have to find a new rheumy. and start over with that relationship. damn it. DAMN IT.
i took my humira on saturday. then sunday, monday, and tuesday nights i had so much trouble sleeping! i don't remember this happening the first two times i took humira. but i've been having really shattered sleep, like i keep waking up. i go to bed at 9pm and sleep until 7am (i stayed up until 10pm last night, barely). and then i have really vivid, really ridiculous dreams. mostly drug dreams and sex dreams. and the most annoying part is that i wake up and think about how stupid crazy the dream is, then roll over to go back to sleep... AND THE DREAM CONTINUES.
ridiculous.
piglet did well at her holistic vet appointment. he handed me a $1200 estimate, including over $600 for X-rays... fucking X-rays. i paid $300 for a nutritional consult - i filled out some paperwork about what i've fed piglet, what kind of things i want to do (feed raw, home cooked, etc) - and that paperwork goes to a veterinary nutritionist who reviews piglet's most recent vet records and designs a specialized diet for her. i'm excited about it and hopeful that i can modify some of it to feed samantha and jake that food too. holistic vet also wants us to give piglet chinese herbs to support renal function and acupuncture.
we believe in acupuncture. but this holistic vet wanted to charge $95 for acupuncture AND the $77 office visit fee... and it's 35 minutes away and piglet hates the car. so i did some calling and found a very local veterinary emergency clinic that has an acupuncturist on site that charges around $50 - the only thing i have to do is pay $150 for a one-time consult. i'll live with that. piglet will have acupuncture once a week for at least a few months.
and then holistic vet will take blood again and we'll see what piglet's kidneys are doing. but she seems to be feeling well - piglet eats and drinks and runs and plays and stomps on me with her pretty pointy feet.
love it.
Friday, April 18, 2014
insert witty blog title here
i want to write, but i'm not coming up with anything good to title this random blog of crap. so tough titties. apparently i'm not going to be witty today.
piglet seems to be doing better. she's active, and eating, and stepping on me with her pointy feet, and following me around relentlessly until i tell her to stay put and leave me alone. so, back to normal. i'm going pet food shopping today to switch up their food again. i love love love the grain-free ingredient list of what i'm currently feeding, but the calorie count is really low. i think i can find something close to as good with minimal grains and more calories. and she's ready to go back on kibble starting today - which is excellent. because we've been feeding her nighttime snack wet food on our bedroom floor. and i don't know if it's a cat-eating-on-carpet thing or a new piglet-has-no-canines thing but she's a messy wet food eater now. very messy. i'm hoping to put all three cats on wet food breakfast and midday feeding, then kibbles for nighttime snack before bed.
i'm sad that i haven't been cross stitching recently but i've been doing other things. i've picked up a few books about recovery and psychology and shit, so i've been reading. one is about healing your inner child. it's already very powerful and i think it will be useful, not just for me but in my counseling. i also got a cute little book of daily affirmation things for recovery. i'll use that in groups i think. and i finished my positivity jar the other day!
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| positivity jar for work. full of POSITIVITY! |
i also bought another mason jar that i'm going to paint black on the inside (maybe with some glitter, who knows?) for negative thoughts. i found a notepad with neon colored pages about 3"x5" that i'm going to have people write negative crap on, fold it up, and put it in that jar. when i was in high school, we had a woman who ran the bookstore that we called 'mom'. she was amazing and empathetic and loving and caring. she truly cared about each of us, everyone in that school. some of us gravitated toward her and spent a lot of time with her. one day mom emptied out the bottom drawer of her desk and started having us write stupid shit that we needed to let go on her cube pad of neon paper. we'd even draw little pictures sometimes. then we'd fold it up and dump it in that drawer. once it was in that drawer, that was it - we had to leave it there and let it go. we went through that drawer when we were graduating high school, and it was ridiculous the types of shit we were going to hold on to. i'm hoping to recreate that with this jar. in recovery, we talk about recognizing what we can and cannot control, and letting go of what we can't control. this is a tangible exercise in that. i think.
awesome husband @_antgas and i went to a local organic farm last weekend to meet baby animals. i was kind of bummed that there were only a few baby animals - chicks and a lamb - but there were also alpaca. which were neat. but distracted.
 |
| @_antgas and the alpaca. who was watching other things. |
 |
| i pet a lamb! it was completely unconcerned with us and had a one track mind for nibbling. |
and then a couple of weeks ago i broke down and cooked meat. i mentioned 'pot roast' once to awesome husband @_antgas and he couldn't get it out of his mind apparently. i bought a huge pot roast, enough for dinner and lunch for him for the entire week. i made it and it was fucking delicious and i felt horrible touching and cooking meat. but it was worth it. i'm still sticking to my roughly 90% vegetarian lifestyle (i don't like labels and i like freedom to eat whatever the fuck i want) but i haven't had my mom's pot roast in a very, very long time. the gravy wasn't as thick as i'd have liked, but it's been years since i've tried to make gravy so i was pretty pleased with it all around.
 |
| um, yum. |
so, life has been good. i'm going to be a paid counselor as of monday. the cats are doing well. i'm feeing okay emotionally. still in a lot of pain rheumatoid disease wise. the humira doesn't seem to be helping at all. yet. it's only been about 3 weeks, so we'll see. hopefully it starts to work. and hopefully it works well and i won't have a lot of pain and i'll be comfortable again.
Friday, April 11, 2014
what a week.
it's just been up and down.
piglet had her surgery tuesday morning and is home recuperating. her four canine teeth looked like 'swiss cheese' according to the vet dentist, so all four were removed. two of her premolars have been resorbed. the vet dentist says piglet does have feline odontoclastic resorptive lesions, and it may end up affecting other teeth in the future. we're waiting for biopsy results from the gum tissue; should have them by monday.
i've had a rough week feelings and pain-level wise. i'm more swollen than i've ever been, and i'm in as much pain as i've ever been. the methotrexate (chemo) does not seem to be helping yet, but it's only been two weeks since i've restarted the medication. and i took my first shot of humira a week and a half ago, with no results as of yet.
it would be nice to not always feel like shit. i remember when i got my gallbladder out, i was shocked to realize how much it was affecting my digestion and tummy and stuff. i'm kind of hoping the same thing happens - i wake up one day and my rheumatoid disease is being successfully treated and i'm no longer in this much fucking pain all the time.
we'll see.
have a good weekend :)
piglet had her surgery tuesday morning and is home recuperating. her four canine teeth looked like 'swiss cheese' according to the vet dentist, so all four were removed. two of her premolars have been resorbed. the vet dentist says piglet does have feline odontoclastic resorptive lesions, and it may end up affecting other teeth in the future. we're waiting for biopsy results from the gum tissue; should have them by monday.
i've had a rough week feelings and pain-level wise. i'm more swollen than i've ever been, and i'm in as much pain as i've ever been. the methotrexate (chemo) does not seem to be helping yet, but it's only been two weeks since i've restarted the medication. and i took my first shot of humira a week and a half ago, with no results as of yet.
it would be nice to not always feel like shit. i remember when i got my gallbladder out, i was shocked to realize how much it was affecting my digestion and tummy and stuff. i'm kind of hoping the same thing happens - i wake up one day and my rheumatoid disease is being successfully treated and i'm no longer in this much fucking pain all the time.
we'll see.
have a good weekend :)
Friday, March 28, 2014
at least it's friday.... ?
it's been an interesting week.
i'm still off my rheumatoid disease meds - no methotrexate (chemo), no enbrel. of course, it was time to switch from enbrel to humira anyway. this last week the pain and fatigue have REALLY caught up with me. very upsetting.
last friday night was the billy joel concert - so much fun! awesome husband @_antgas and i had a great time. billy played some old songs that don't get played that much. taking a cue from @_antgas, i used my iPhone to note the set list so i'll always remember what i've heard live. this was my ninth time seeing him though (i think. it sounds about right) sooooooo there's a lot missing from what i've seen played live.
i took a few photos too. our seats were right behind the stage in the 300 section, which is this weird bridge thing. we were in the front row and it was great - no one in front of me. i was able to sit the entire show and still see, and the sound was still great.
on the train to the city, there were two couples pregaming the billy joel concert on the train (yes, this is long island). we were going through the valley stream station and one of the girls goes, 'this is where i used to live, valley stream.... suffolk is so white trash'. if you're from long island, you'll see why this was HYSTERICAL coming from a woman pregaming billy joel on the train drinking miller lite out of a can.... hysterical.
we missed the train on the way home. damn it. we caught the first train from penn station into babylon, where we had to transfer, but we missed the transfer by a couple of minutes. stupid. so we had an hour to kill at 12:30 in the morning, which meant listening to what i suspect was a homeless woman cough like she was dying while smoking cigarettes and watching drunk people (some of whom were wearing really high heels) run up and down the escalators, since of course they weren't working.
when we got on the train home, a group of kids (probably mid-twenties. that's how you know you're old, when you refer to 20-somethings as 'kids') stumbled up with the conductor right on their heels yelling at them about delaying the train. apparently one of the kids leaned out the door to light and smoke a cigarette while we were stopped at a station.... um, really? once the conductor walked away, the guys were SUCH DOUCHECANOES. so bad.
i slept late on saturday and we took it pretty easy all weekend. but i was still tired on monday - fell back asleep and took a nap in the afternoon. same on wednesday - tuesday and thursday i interned and did alright. but today i turned off my alarm and fell back asleep - for two hours! i had to rush to get ready to go to my therapist appointment. which was emotional enough itself, of course.
piglet's maintaing. sort of. it's been about 6 weeks since we noticed piglet's tooth injury. we knew it would probably have to come out; the vet said it would probably die so i was watching for that. in early march, her tooth started to look a little worse, so i called the vet to have it extracted. that's when they found out her kidneys were failing - pre-surgery blood work. i've been going back and forth and trying to talk through what's happening and what our options are. that was three weeks ago today, and on wednesday i realized her tooth was looking really bad - it's like it's completely covered by the gums (it's a canine tooth). shit. so i called the vet and told them and was like, i can't wait any longer. we need more bloodwork to see if she's improved at all with her modified diet. that tooth needs to come out, and we can't do that unless her kidneys improve. she's been on antibiotics this entire time and her tooth has only gotten worse. but the vet thought maybe her numbers were so bad because she had a kidney infection - if that was the case, her numbers should have improved... right? ugh.
oh, and i never did get my tattoo touch up. i still felt too poorly on my appointment day to go in and get it done. i'm planning on starting my chemo again tonight or tomorrow and the humira is being delivered tomorrow. i have to decide when i'm starting that. hopefully soon because everything hurts.
after the vet tomorrow, we have a pretty relaxing weekend lined up. hanging out with friends tomorrow night and just cleaning and laundry the rest of the time. i hope that my meds will start doing their shit soon enough and then i'll feel GREAT! right? ;)
i'm still off my rheumatoid disease meds - no methotrexate (chemo), no enbrel. of course, it was time to switch from enbrel to humira anyway. this last week the pain and fatigue have REALLY caught up with me. very upsetting.
last friday night was the billy joel concert - so much fun! awesome husband @_antgas and i had a great time. billy played some old songs that don't get played that much. taking a cue from @_antgas, i used my iPhone to note the set list so i'll always remember what i've heard live. this was my ninth time seeing him though (i think. it sounds about right) sooooooo there's a lot missing from what i've seen played live.
i took a few photos too. our seats were right behind the stage in the 300 section, which is this weird bridge thing. we were in the front row and it was great - no one in front of me. i was able to sit the entire show and still see, and the sound was still great.
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| our view of the stage before the concert |
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| yay! billy! |
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| billy's piano spins. |
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on the train to the city, there were two couples pregaming the billy joel concert on the train (yes, this is long island). we were going through the valley stream station and one of the girls goes, 'this is where i used to live, valley stream.... suffolk is so white trash'. if you're from long island, you'll see why this was HYSTERICAL coming from a woman pregaming billy joel on the train drinking miller lite out of a can.... hysterical.
we missed the train on the way home. damn it. we caught the first train from penn station into babylon, where we had to transfer, but we missed the transfer by a couple of minutes. stupid. so we had an hour to kill at 12:30 in the morning, which meant listening to what i suspect was a homeless woman cough like she was dying while smoking cigarettes and watching drunk people (some of whom were wearing really high heels) run up and down the escalators, since of course they weren't working.
when we got on the train home, a group of kids (probably mid-twenties. that's how you know you're old, when you refer to 20-somethings as 'kids') stumbled up with the conductor right on their heels yelling at them about delaying the train. apparently one of the kids leaned out the door to light and smoke a cigarette while we were stopped at a station.... um, really? once the conductor walked away, the guys were SUCH DOUCHECANOES. so bad.
i slept late on saturday and we took it pretty easy all weekend. but i was still tired on monday - fell back asleep and took a nap in the afternoon. same on wednesday - tuesday and thursday i interned and did alright. but today i turned off my alarm and fell back asleep - for two hours! i had to rush to get ready to go to my therapist appointment. which was emotional enough itself, of course.
piglet's maintaing. sort of. it's been about 6 weeks since we noticed piglet's tooth injury. we knew it would probably have to come out; the vet said it would probably die so i was watching for that. in early march, her tooth started to look a little worse, so i called the vet to have it extracted. that's when they found out her kidneys were failing - pre-surgery blood work. i've been going back and forth and trying to talk through what's happening and what our options are. that was three weeks ago today, and on wednesday i realized her tooth was looking really bad - it's like it's completely covered by the gums (it's a canine tooth). shit. so i called the vet and told them and was like, i can't wait any longer. we need more bloodwork to see if she's improved at all with her modified diet. that tooth needs to come out, and we can't do that unless her kidneys improve. she's been on antibiotics this entire time and her tooth has only gotten worse. but the vet thought maybe her numbers were so bad because she had a kidney infection - if that was the case, her numbers should have improved... right? ugh.
oh, and i never did get my tattoo touch up. i still felt too poorly on my appointment day to go in and get it done. i'm planning on starting my chemo again tonight or tomorrow and the humira is being delivered tomorrow. i have to decide when i'm starting that. hopefully soon because everything hurts.
after the vet tomorrow, we have a pretty relaxing weekend lined up. hanging out with friends tomorrow night and just cleaning and laundry the rest of the time. i hope that my meds will start doing their shit soon enough and then i'll feel GREAT! right? ;)
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| me and piglet <3 i=""> |
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
ahh, wednesday.
i'm finally not really that sick any longer. it's been two weeks since i started feeling ill and i'm still a little snotty and coughing a bit. i can't fucking wait until it's all cleared up. it better be soon. ugh.
my birthday was last week. and i was sick. so, you know. awesome husband @_antgas and i went to benihana (if you have a local location, join their chef's club and you'll get a $30 certificate for your birthday!) and ate A LOT. then on my birthday we went over our friends' house and had nathan's for dinner. it was very nice and nostalgic: when we were younger, my mom would pick up nathan's hot dogs and french fries for a special dinner on our birthdays. she'd also get this lemony cake for dessert. i don't know how many years we did it, but i remember it being a thing. the next night we had greek food and ice cream with my bestie for forever.
my dad's birthday is the week before mine, so we've often done joint birthday things. on sunday, we went to our favorite steak house with dad, my brother, his fiancee sisterfromanothermister, and my twin half sisters. it was lots of food and lots of fun. i had a meat-ful weekend.
so much meat. so much.
i'm not eating meat until saturday again. @_antgas' mom is having st. patrick's day. we didn't do anything for st. paddy's day because i won't cook meat and we don't drink... so, kind of pointless. but for saturday i'm planning on making scratch irish soda bread - one without raisins because i hate raisins - and i might make my family's cole slaw.
i've been off my meds forever, it feels like. my joints are screaming. and the fatigue is coming back. it's like just existing in this much pain causes fatigue. i'm kind of over it.
i'm getting some tattoo work done on thursday, not too much but a bit. my rheumy said i should stop taking my meds for a week before and a week after if i want to get tattooed. i've been off for over two weeks, almost three. but then i have to wait for another week before i can start humira. which is the next biologic drug we're trying. enbrel didn't do shit. i only hope humira does something.
piglet seems to be.... well, piglet. her tooth is definitely getting worse, but she's still drinking and eating and peeing and pooping. of course, every cat vomited everywhere last night. damn it. we'll bring piglet back in about two weeks to have another round of blood work and see if anything's changed. i guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it....
my birthday was last week. and i was sick. so, you know. awesome husband @_antgas and i went to benihana (if you have a local location, join their chef's club and you'll get a $30 certificate for your birthday!) and ate A LOT. then on my birthday we went over our friends' house and had nathan's for dinner. it was very nice and nostalgic: when we were younger, my mom would pick up nathan's hot dogs and french fries for a special dinner on our birthdays. she'd also get this lemony cake for dessert. i don't know how many years we did it, but i remember it being a thing. the next night we had greek food and ice cream with my bestie for forever.
my dad's birthday is the week before mine, so we've often done joint birthday things. on sunday, we went to our favorite steak house with dad, my brother, his fiancee sisterfromanothermister, and my twin half sisters. it was lots of food and lots of fun. i had a meat-ful weekend.
so much meat. so much.
i'm not eating meat until saturday again. @_antgas' mom is having st. patrick's day. we didn't do anything for st. paddy's day because i won't cook meat and we don't drink... so, kind of pointless. but for saturday i'm planning on making scratch irish soda bread - one without raisins because i hate raisins - and i might make my family's cole slaw.
i've been off my meds forever, it feels like. my joints are screaming. and the fatigue is coming back. it's like just existing in this much pain causes fatigue. i'm kind of over it.
i'm getting some tattoo work done on thursday, not too much but a bit. my rheumy said i should stop taking my meds for a week before and a week after if i want to get tattooed. i've been off for over two weeks, almost three. but then i have to wait for another week before i can start humira. which is the next biologic drug we're trying. enbrel didn't do shit. i only hope humira does something.
piglet seems to be.... well, piglet. her tooth is definitely getting worse, but she's still drinking and eating and peeing and pooping. of course, every cat vomited everywhere last night. damn it. we'll bring piglet back in about two weeks to have another round of blood work and see if anything's changed. i guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it....
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
home with with cats
i'm still so sick. i'm completely over it. i had to call into my intership today, which i hate doing. but it's like every morning i've woken up and felt worse. i went to urgent care on sunday and got some antibiotics and flonase and whatever. the doctor said it's an upper respiratory infection and i'm so over it. i'm going to see my rheumatologist tomorrow to talk about starting a new biologic medication - of course, i won't be able to start until after this stupid plague is done. humira is most likely next on the list.
samantha has been snuggling with me a lot. jake has HATED piglet since she came home from the vet on friday with her saddlebag of saline (cats get like a lump area where the fluid collects after received subq fluids. it gets absorbed over a couple of hours). every time he saw piglet, jake would just start hissing. now she can sometimes get close to him, especially at feeding time, before he starts hissing. i'm not sure what to make of it. at first, i was like, maybe she smells like the vet or like alcohol - i remember one time when samantha went to the vet, piglet hissed at her for a day or so and sammy had blood drawn, so she smelled a bit like rubbing alcohol. but it's been like four days, jake, calm the fuck down.
but then i think, what if jake can tell something big is wrong? what if now he knows that piglet is, like, dying or something and he's scared? what if her aura has changed and jake is sensitive to that?
or what if jake is just a huge fucking asshole of a cat?
anyway, we have antibiotic pills that we have to give piglet daily. amoxicillin, 50mg. it's not easy to pill a cat. but we're working on it. i've also done some food research with the help of a friend who owns a pet store and has some friends in the know. i wanted a kibble that is okay for all of the cats because it's hard to keep them out of each other's kibble - they don't always eat it all at once. when i feed them wet food, i watch them so it's easier to keep them separated. we decided on a wellness kibble with high quality protein sources, but it has grain. i'm not thrilled because jake seemed to be doing very well on grain free. we'll see what happens there. as for food, right now sammy and jake are going to finish up some of the freeze dried raw we have and for piglet we have a couple of cans of iams and purina kidney diet. i'm hoping to order a couple of cans of royal canin's kidney diet too and see which piglet likes. she's actually eating most of the iams, so that's something.
the problem is breakfast and nighttime snack - we don't always watch them. so nighttime snack is kibble and for now breakfast is too. once i'm not sick any longer and am waking up early again, the cats will probably get a quality wet food, not prescription. i know so many people are like 'but your cat needs prescription food, that's what the vet says'. and i totally respect the vet's advice. as intent as i have been feeding raw, it's not good for all cats and i understand that now. sammy and jake seem to be doing okay on raw, but it's like i don't know what to do. we fed taylor whatever crap food and he developed kidney failure. we put him to sleep three years ago last week - on march 8. piglet was diagnosed march 7. annoying and kind of creepy. but i kept him alive for about 5 years on a diet that i figured out, and it did not revolve around prescription foods. yes, we fed him the iams rx canned food for a few months, but as i learned more i changed what we fed them. for the last two or three years of his life, he did not eat any rx food.
meanwhile, piglet has had good or premium quality food from the age of 1. i have always tried to do the best by her. and she developed kidney failure about two years younger than taylor did. and her kidney failure is more progressed than his. based on the numbers i'm seeing and some comparative googling, she's lost like 80% of her kidney function. taylor's numbers were never this high. and we got them lower over time by adjusting his diet. plus let's add in the whole blood and pus in the urine. could that be a raging kidney infection? sure. could it be a thousand other things like cancer (that's how we discovered nibbler had lymphoma - blood and pus in the urine)?
and of course, now piglet's tooth has to stay put. no idea what it actually is - the vet won't say it's feline odontoclastic resorption, but also mentioned that it looked like it could be something worse and wanted to biopsy it. piglet is still hungry and purry and snuggles with me a bit - but she seems lethargic. her breath is horrible - worse than normal cat breath. and it's not like i don't think piglet is worth spending money, but i think there's a limit. especially now that i know she's in kidney failure. is it worth extracting the tooth for her comfort? of course. is it worth doing a biopsy on the gum to see if it's cancer or something? maybe not. it's a couple hundred dollars and it doesn't fucking matter - she. is. in. kidney. failure. taking out the tooth isn't going to fix this.
there is no cure for this, only treatment. only ways to try and help her kidneys function as best as possible for as long as possible. this could easily include subq fluids at home. how long is piglet going to like that? how are we supposed to know when enough is enough? it's so hard. i don't want to seem like one of those people who just randomly puts cats to sleep because they cost too much - far from it. i am one of those people who randomly puts animals to sleep when their quality of life declines to a point. i called around to numerous vets when we were moving to florida to put a dwarf hamster with a tumor down. the stress of the drive alone would have been enough to give a dwarf hamster a heart attack (literally, not figuratively). i finally found one who was willing to try since there's no like vet-approved amount of sleepytime drug to put a dwarf hamster down.
cats are notorious for not letting people know things. like when they hurt. taylor could have been in pain for days, weeks even, before the day he went downhill quickly. cats don't just purr when they're happy - they purr when they're in pain to comfort themselves.
i have this love/hate relationship with the web. it helped me learn about feline kidney failure and helped me find new things to try. it helped me discover feline herpes and enabled me to work with my vet at the time to treat it. but it also shows me a list of things that say 'your cat is sicker than you think'. piglet has numerous signs that put her at last stage 3 or possibly stage 4 kidney failure. most vets recommend euthanizing cats in stage 4. can piglet afford to wait a month on this food without subq fluids to see if her numbers stabilize? how much more aggressive should we be? so many questions with no good answers.
samantha has been snuggling with me a lot. jake has HATED piglet since she came home from the vet on friday with her saddlebag of saline (cats get like a lump area where the fluid collects after received subq fluids. it gets absorbed over a couple of hours). every time he saw piglet, jake would just start hissing. now she can sometimes get close to him, especially at feeding time, before he starts hissing. i'm not sure what to make of it. at first, i was like, maybe she smells like the vet or like alcohol - i remember one time when samantha went to the vet, piglet hissed at her for a day or so and sammy had blood drawn, so she smelled a bit like rubbing alcohol. but it's been like four days, jake, calm the fuck down.
but then i think, what if jake can tell something big is wrong? what if now he knows that piglet is, like, dying or something and he's scared? what if her aura has changed and jake is sensitive to that?
or what if jake is just a huge fucking asshole of a cat?
anyway, we have antibiotic pills that we have to give piglet daily. amoxicillin, 50mg. it's not easy to pill a cat. but we're working on it. i've also done some food research with the help of a friend who owns a pet store and has some friends in the know. i wanted a kibble that is okay for all of the cats because it's hard to keep them out of each other's kibble - they don't always eat it all at once. when i feed them wet food, i watch them so it's easier to keep them separated. we decided on a wellness kibble with high quality protein sources, but it has grain. i'm not thrilled because jake seemed to be doing very well on grain free. we'll see what happens there. as for food, right now sammy and jake are going to finish up some of the freeze dried raw we have and for piglet we have a couple of cans of iams and purina kidney diet. i'm hoping to order a couple of cans of royal canin's kidney diet too and see which piglet likes. she's actually eating most of the iams, so that's something.
the problem is breakfast and nighttime snack - we don't always watch them. so nighttime snack is kibble and for now breakfast is too. once i'm not sick any longer and am waking up early again, the cats will probably get a quality wet food, not prescription. i know so many people are like 'but your cat needs prescription food, that's what the vet says'. and i totally respect the vet's advice. as intent as i have been feeding raw, it's not good for all cats and i understand that now. sammy and jake seem to be doing okay on raw, but it's like i don't know what to do. we fed taylor whatever crap food and he developed kidney failure. we put him to sleep three years ago last week - on march 8. piglet was diagnosed march 7. annoying and kind of creepy. but i kept him alive for about 5 years on a diet that i figured out, and it did not revolve around prescription foods. yes, we fed him the iams rx canned food for a few months, but as i learned more i changed what we fed them. for the last two or three years of his life, he did not eat any rx food.
meanwhile, piglet has had good or premium quality food from the age of 1. i have always tried to do the best by her. and she developed kidney failure about two years younger than taylor did. and her kidney failure is more progressed than his. based on the numbers i'm seeing and some comparative googling, she's lost like 80% of her kidney function. taylor's numbers were never this high. and we got them lower over time by adjusting his diet. plus let's add in the whole blood and pus in the urine. could that be a raging kidney infection? sure. could it be a thousand other things like cancer (that's how we discovered nibbler had lymphoma - blood and pus in the urine)?
and of course, now piglet's tooth has to stay put. no idea what it actually is - the vet won't say it's feline odontoclastic resorption, but also mentioned that it looked like it could be something worse and wanted to biopsy it. piglet is still hungry and purry and snuggles with me a bit - but she seems lethargic. her breath is horrible - worse than normal cat breath. and it's not like i don't think piglet is worth spending money, but i think there's a limit. especially now that i know she's in kidney failure. is it worth extracting the tooth for her comfort? of course. is it worth doing a biopsy on the gum to see if it's cancer or something? maybe not. it's a couple hundred dollars and it doesn't fucking matter - she. is. in. kidney. failure. taking out the tooth isn't going to fix this.
there is no cure for this, only treatment. only ways to try and help her kidneys function as best as possible for as long as possible. this could easily include subq fluids at home. how long is piglet going to like that? how are we supposed to know when enough is enough? it's so hard. i don't want to seem like one of those people who just randomly puts cats to sleep because they cost too much - far from it. i am one of those people who randomly puts animals to sleep when their quality of life declines to a point. i called around to numerous vets when we were moving to florida to put a dwarf hamster with a tumor down. the stress of the drive alone would have been enough to give a dwarf hamster a heart attack (literally, not figuratively). i finally found one who was willing to try since there's no like vet-approved amount of sleepytime drug to put a dwarf hamster down.
cats are notorious for not letting people know things. like when they hurt. taylor could have been in pain for days, weeks even, before the day he went downhill quickly. cats don't just purr when they're happy - they purr when they're in pain to comfort themselves.
i have this love/hate relationship with the web. it helped me learn about feline kidney failure and helped me find new things to try. it helped me discover feline herpes and enabled me to work with my vet at the time to treat it. but it also shows me a list of things that say 'your cat is sicker than you think'. piglet has numerous signs that put her at last stage 3 or possibly stage 4 kidney failure. most vets recommend euthanizing cats in stage 4. can piglet afford to wait a month on this food without subq fluids to see if her numbers stabilize? how much more aggressive should we be? so many questions with no good answers.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
feline chronic kidney whatever
some people call it 'kidney failure'. some 'kidney disease'. the practical upshot of all of it is that piglet's kidneys are not functioning as the cat goddess intended.
the cat goddess is probably bastet. she's probably in charge of all cat-related things.
piglet has had a tooth issue for a few weeks now. when we took her to the vet about a month ago, it looked like her tooth had been chipped. there was a spot with no enamel and the dentin was exposed. it seemed painful to her. we put her on a round of antibiotics and the vet said the tooth may die and have to be extracted. so i kept an eye on the tooth. it's had a bit of a growth on it, like the gum is growing over it, and it comes and goes. but it hadn't been looking like it was dying or that it was bothering her that much. i was considering finding a vet dental specialist.
a few days ago, piglet started getting a bit lethargic. her tooth had no change, she was still eating and peeing and pooping, she was still purring and snuggling and playing as normal, but she just seemed a bit run down. i decided we needed to take the tooth out now because it seemed to be bothering her. the vet wanted to take a look at it first and since it's a far drive, we decided to bring her in just before appointments started to ensure removing it was the best thing, then she could stay there and have the procedure or i could take her home if we decided against it.
i brought her in. three of the four vets were in house yesterday; as a family, we've been dealing with the two oldest ones since the early '90s and i trust them both - and they both agreed the tooth needed to come out. they said they'd take blood to make sure everything was good to go, take out the tooth, biopsy the growth thingy near the gum just in case, and handed me a RIDICULOUS estimate that made me cringe. but it's my baby.
about an hour after i got home, one of the older vets called about piglet's blood work. her kidneys were not functioning well. her levels were, well, bad. like two to three times higher than the high end of 'normal'. i asked the vet if we'd call this early stage kidney failure and she said no, it's worse than that. we kept our oldest cat taylor alive in early stage kidney failure for over five years with diet. this would be like late stage three kidney failure; piglet's kidneys have probably lost about 80% of their function.
the tooth has to stay in for now. we got a bit of info this morning about her urine - it's filled with blood and pus, but that *could* mean that she just has a really bad infection. maybe a bit of a diet tweak and some antibiotics can fix this. could it be related to the tooth? could she have cancer? could she be dying? i try not to think about it, but i think it's something i have to think about. i mean, let's get real - how much do i want to put piglet through? our rottie nibbler was peeing blood and that turned out to be lymphoma. with diet and subcutaneous fluids, we could probably keep piglet's kidneys functioning at or around 20% for at least a year or two. maybe longer. she's only nine and a half.
but she has other issues. piglet has herpes, feline calcivirus. she already has a kind of shitty immune system. she hates getting medication. she'll probably hate subq fluids if we end up having to do that at home. this is treatable, yes, but not curable. i love piglet, and i'll do what i can until she's no longer comfortable - the same we did with nibbler, the same i did with taylor, the same i'll do with any animal who trusts me to take care of them.
then i think about the supposedly positive diet changes i made for them - raw food and grain free. samantha and jake seem to be doing well. jake even lost weight and is a healthy weight now. but now piglet is in kidney failure. it's like, what did i do? we fed taylor bullshit food for the first 11 years of his life (i was not in charge of that) and he went into kidney failure at age 11. better food choices kept his kidneys functioning well enough for years. i feed piglet the best food i can find for her as i learn more - at first she was on purina, then it moved to iams, then it moved to wellness, now nature's variety and raw foods - and she goes into kidney failure before age 10. i know it's not my fault, i know it. i know it happens, it's really pretty common in cats. but what do i do? what am i supposed to do?
i read all the ingredients and think about what they'd eat in the wild. obviously we're not recreating that very well as humans. feeding crap diets of kibble and low quality canned gives cats diabetes and makes them obese. jake seems to gain weight on foods full of grains. but grain free diets will be too protein rich for piglet. the special kidney diets are filled with the type of crap i no longer wanted to feed my cats, but now it might be the best option for piglet. i feel like no matter what i do, it's not good enough for my cats.
so here i am, again trying to determine a diet that will be best for all my cats. trying to figure out where the money is coming from for all these tests and procedures and shit. trying to decide what is the best course of action; how much we're willing to put piglet through; what we're willing to treat without the option of curing.
the cat goddess is probably bastet. she's probably in charge of all cat-related things.
piglet has had a tooth issue for a few weeks now. when we took her to the vet about a month ago, it looked like her tooth had been chipped. there was a spot with no enamel and the dentin was exposed. it seemed painful to her. we put her on a round of antibiotics and the vet said the tooth may die and have to be extracted. so i kept an eye on the tooth. it's had a bit of a growth on it, like the gum is growing over it, and it comes and goes. but it hadn't been looking like it was dying or that it was bothering her that much. i was considering finding a vet dental specialist.
a few days ago, piglet started getting a bit lethargic. her tooth had no change, she was still eating and peeing and pooping, she was still purring and snuggling and playing as normal, but she just seemed a bit run down. i decided we needed to take the tooth out now because it seemed to be bothering her. the vet wanted to take a look at it first and since it's a far drive, we decided to bring her in just before appointments started to ensure removing it was the best thing, then she could stay there and have the procedure or i could take her home if we decided against it.
i brought her in. three of the four vets were in house yesterday; as a family, we've been dealing with the two oldest ones since the early '90s and i trust them both - and they both agreed the tooth needed to come out. they said they'd take blood to make sure everything was good to go, take out the tooth, biopsy the growth thingy near the gum just in case, and handed me a RIDICULOUS estimate that made me cringe. but it's my baby.
about an hour after i got home, one of the older vets called about piglet's blood work. her kidneys were not functioning well. her levels were, well, bad. like two to three times higher than the high end of 'normal'. i asked the vet if we'd call this early stage kidney failure and she said no, it's worse than that. we kept our oldest cat taylor alive in early stage kidney failure for over five years with diet. this would be like late stage three kidney failure; piglet's kidneys have probably lost about 80% of their function.
the tooth has to stay in for now. we got a bit of info this morning about her urine - it's filled with blood and pus, but that *could* mean that she just has a really bad infection. maybe a bit of a diet tweak and some antibiotics can fix this. could it be related to the tooth? could she have cancer? could she be dying? i try not to think about it, but i think it's something i have to think about. i mean, let's get real - how much do i want to put piglet through? our rottie nibbler was peeing blood and that turned out to be lymphoma. with diet and subcutaneous fluids, we could probably keep piglet's kidneys functioning at or around 20% for at least a year or two. maybe longer. she's only nine and a half.
but she has other issues. piglet has herpes, feline calcivirus. she already has a kind of shitty immune system. she hates getting medication. she'll probably hate subq fluids if we end up having to do that at home. this is treatable, yes, but not curable. i love piglet, and i'll do what i can until she's no longer comfortable - the same we did with nibbler, the same i did with taylor, the same i'll do with any animal who trusts me to take care of them.
then i think about the supposedly positive diet changes i made for them - raw food and grain free. samantha and jake seem to be doing well. jake even lost weight and is a healthy weight now. but now piglet is in kidney failure. it's like, what did i do? we fed taylor bullshit food for the first 11 years of his life (i was not in charge of that) and he went into kidney failure at age 11. better food choices kept his kidneys functioning well enough for years. i feed piglet the best food i can find for her as i learn more - at first she was on purina, then it moved to iams, then it moved to wellness, now nature's variety and raw foods - and she goes into kidney failure before age 10. i know it's not my fault, i know it. i know it happens, it's really pretty common in cats. but what do i do? what am i supposed to do?
i read all the ingredients and think about what they'd eat in the wild. obviously we're not recreating that very well as humans. feeding crap diets of kibble and low quality canned gives cats diabetes and makes them obese. jake seems to gain weight on foods full of grains. but grain free diets will be too protein rich for piglet. the special kidney diets are filled with the type of crap i no longer wanted to feed my cats, but now it might be the best option for piglet. i feel like no matter what i do, it's not good enough for my cats.
so here i am, again trying to determine a diet that will be best for all my cats. trying to figure out where the money is coming from for all these tests and procedures and shit. trying to decide what is the best course of action; how much we're willing to put piglet through; what we're willing to treat without the option of curing.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
ups and downs
it's been an interesting few weeks.
my rheumatoid disease activity has been up. pain levels are increasing. drugs are not helping. about two weeks ago i was trying not to hate my life. i've started being more creative - cross stitching and cooking as much as i can. or as much as i feel like. it keeps snowing. and it's cold.
ah, february. it's been a month of ups and downs.
next week i go the the rheumatologist again. she's probably going to discontinue my enbrel and start the process to get me on humira. it's the same kind of fucking ridiculous drug with a disgusting laundry list of possible side effects: serious infections, nervous system problems, blood problems, heart failure, immune system reactions, liver problems. oh, and of course a heightened risk of cancer, including a rare kind of lymphoma.
maybe this one will help.
i finally went through all the hoops to get a temporary handicapped parking permit. i hate that i have it, but it really helps with the walking. if i go to the mall or try to go shopping, 30 minutes is my limit. it makes it hard to go shopping other than food shopping. and at school it will help a lot - the student parking lot is faaaar from the buildings. i also bought a cane that i still won't use. it's leopard print, obvs.
still, everything hurts. my elbows still seem to be the only main joints not involved. my very low spine hurts. my hips. my shoulders. my knees. and of course, my wrists, fingers, ankles, and toes. my toes have been horrible this week. my left heel is a problem as well.
interning is going so well. i have three of my own groups - one is every other week and is a health & nutrition group. i have an orientation group once a week for new clients and an opioid recovery group once a week. and i'm still co-leading the women's group once a week. that's my favorite - i'm really learning a lot by leading it with a more seasoned counselor.
and i did my first mostly solo assessment. i took the lead with the entire thing and wrote up all the notes and filled out all the online stuff about it to be reviewed by the counselor who sat with me. she didn't interject much at all but gave me good guidance.
then today my supervisor/mentor spent a solid ten minutes gushing over how great i am. she kept talking about how big of a help i've been with her workload, and how much she wants me to be able to have my own caseload. she told me they're pushing her to hire a part time counselor who is fully credentialed, which i won't be for at least another two years - i'll have a trainee certification in june and will have to do 2000+ hours of work that is reviewed by other qualified health professionals. but she's keeping me in the loop on that so i can prepare to present myself as an integral part of the team when my internship is over and hopefully get some kind of job there. i want to stay where i am. i love the other counselors, i love the clients, the location isn't horrible - not too far - i mean, come on. and i learned here - i know how to do everything the way THEY want people to do things. i'm hopeful and confident, but i don't want to be cocky about it.
and piglet has a tooth injury. i don't know how much i went into it already - if at all - but she'll most likely have to have one of her canines removed this friday. she's almost 10 but she still feels too young for this to happen to. i'm just hoping it's not one of the tooth things that cats get that will end up affecting like all of her teeth. we'll see.
so february ends and we enter march. we still have snow, my birthday is coming up, and spring will hopefully spring sooner rather than later. the clocks go ahead this weekend so it will be lighter later at night. hopefully i'll keep practicing positivity and be a happy camper too!
my rheumatoid disease activity has been up. pain levels are increasing. drugs are not helping. about two weeks ago i was trying not to hate my life. i've started being more creative - cross stitching and cooking as much as i can. or as much as i feel like. it keeps snowing. and it's cold.
ah, february. it's been a month of ups and downs.
next week i go the the rheumatologist again. she's probably going to discontinue my enbrel and start the process to get me on humira. it's the same kind of fucking ridiculous drug with a disgusting laundry list of possible side effects: serious infections, nervous system problems, blood problems, heart failure, immune system reactions, liver problems. oh, and of course a heightened risk of cancer, including a rare kind of lymphoma.
maybe this one will help.
i finally went through all the hoops to get a temporary handicapped parking permit. i hate that i have it, but it really helps with the walking. if i go to the mall or try to go shopping, 30 minutes is my limit. it makes it hard to go shopping other than food shopping. and at school it will help a lot - the student parking lot is faaaar from the buildings. i also bought a cane that i still won't use. it's leopard print, obvs.
still, everything hurts. my elbows still seem to be the only main joints not involved. my very low spine hurts. my hips. my shoulders. my knees. and of course, my wrists, fingers, ankles, and toes. my toes have been horrible this week. my left heel is a problem as well.
interning is going so well. i have three of my own groups - one is every other week and is a health & nutrition group. i have an orientation group once a week for new clients and an opioid recovery group once a week. and i'm still co-leading the women's group once a week. that's my favorite - i'm really learning a lot by leading it with a more seasoned counselor.
and i did my first mostly solo assessment. i took the lead with the entire thing and wrote up all the notes and filled out all the online stuff about it to be reviewed by the counselor who sat with me. she didn't interject much at all but gave me good guidance.
then today my supervisor/mentor spent a solid ten minutes gushing over how great i am. she kept talking about how big of a help i've been with her workload, and how much she wants me to be able to have my own caseload. she told me they're pushing her to hire a part time counselor who is fully credentialed, which i won't be for at least another two years - i'll have a trainee certification in june and will have to do 2000+ hours of work that is reviewed by other qualified health professionals. but she's keeping me in the loop on that so i can prepare to present myself as an integral part of the team when my internship is over and hopefully get some kind of job there. i want to stay where i am. i love the other counselors, i love the clients, the location isn't horrible - not too far - i mean, come on. and i learned here - i know how to do everything the way THEY want people to do things. i'm hopeful and confident, but i don't want to be cocky about it.
and piglet has a tooth injury. i don't know how much i went into it already - if at all - but she'll most likely have to have one of her canines removed this friday. she's almost 10 but she still feels too young for this to happen to. i'm just hoping it's not one of the tooth things that cats get that will end up affecting like all of her teeth. we'll see.
so february ends and we enter march. we still have snow, my birthday is coming up, and spring will hopefully spring sooner rather than later. the clocks go ahead this weekend so it will be lighter later at night. hopefully i'll keep practicing positivity and be a happy camper too!
Thursday, September 19, 2013
RAWR - RAW... coincidence?
'rawr' is obviously the sound cats make. and it contains the word 'raw' in it.
which is a really lame and not at all interesting way for me to tell you i'm feeding my cats a partially raw diet.
this is a controversial topic. people are used to feeding cats what's in the grocery store. they think it's okay to spend $10 on a 20 pound bag of food and call it a day. they think, cats have eaten table scraps and whatever for years and they're okay.
not quite true. dogs have been domesticated for at least 14,000 years, possibly a lot longer (i think a lot longer). there was a dna diversion from wolves up to 100,000 years ago. dogs were the first domesticated animal. they've been eating whatever fell from the table or whatever scraps we threw at them for-EVER.
cats, on the other hand.... well, if you're a cat person, you can immediately see the differences between cats and dogs. cats are not pack animals, and they do not 'recognize' a pack leader. each cat is their own leader. they'll fight with the other cats in the house whenever and wherever they feel like it. oh, cats will get along. because it's easier.
how stuff works' website has a good article about feline domestication. the article also makes an excellent point about how feral cats survive so easily. the american domestic shorthair - the cat equivalent of the mutt - makes a wonderful housepet, but can also survive very well in the wilds of long island. i know because there are tons of feral cat colonies, some of which are trapped, fixed, and returned to their colony by loving volunteers all over long island. some are fed. but the point is, there is physically and biologically nothing different between my piglet, samantha, and jake and the colonies of feral cats out there - except my brood lives in my home and is cared for by me.
although, right now, jake is chattering at the door because he can see birds on the bird feeder. which is the entire reason i bought a bird feeder. i like them being able to see the birds and remembering that I WANT TO KILL THAT AND EAT IT OMFG I'M A WILD BEAST AND I NEED TO KILLLLLLLL.
because, deep down, that's what all cats want. watch your cat hunt the little red dot; hunt its housemates; stalk the bird on the outside tree.
but don't keep your cats outside. i strongly believe that pet cats belong inside unless on supervised yard visits. i do not think that cats (or dogs) should be let out unsupervised to roam the neighborhood. of course, that's another blog.
so raw food. the BARF diet, aka bones and raw food or biologically appropriate raw food diet, is about giving the cats what they would eat in the wild, in its raw form. it entails a lot of ordering organic rabbit and having it shipped to your home for outrageous amounts of money. or finding a good local butcher who will butcher and sell you bits of chicken, quail, rabbit, duck, etc. or buying these meats yourself and bringing them home.
but a cat has specific vitamin and mineral needs. did it get all these from it's prey in the past? maybe, maybe not. of course, humans take multivitamins every day to supplement their diet and ensure they're getting the right nutrients - right? so many pet parents buy raw meats and add special supplements to make sure their cats are getting enough essential nutrients - like taurine, which is imperative for cat's health. these meats are offered in their raw form and ground up with the supplements added. with the bones and all. because bone is actually an important part of a cat's diet. calcium.
then you have very concerned pet parents like me who are lazier than that. at least, for now. and we are concerned about our cats very specific nutrient needs. so we turn to commercially prepared raw foods that have no or limited non-animal products. these are in their natural state, uncooked and unprocessed. or very minimally so. we kept researching and changing: from friskies and crap to iams (which is also crap), to blue buffalo (crap), to wellness (not too crappy, but eh) and finally i found nature's variety instinct. it's 86% animal bits and 14% veggies/fruits/minerals/vitamins. i'd prefer the 'non-meat' to be 10% or less, but this is pretty damn close. once we started feeding this kibble, which is completely grain free, we noticed a difference in the litter box. less poop. with each higher quality food we've fed the cats, we've noticed this positive change.
then we tackled the canned/wet food. i searched and searched for my picky piglet, and happened upon weruva. this food is minimally processed in a factory in thailand. i know what you're thinking: THAILAND??? REALLY? but yes. it's actually processed in a factory that processed human food as well. it's family owned - and that human food is sold in america. so it meets USDA standards. and i felt this was a good balance. the cats were pretty happy, i was pretty happy. poop was minimal. vomiting was at an all-time low.
but i wanted more, better, whole-r foods for my cats. awesome husband @_antgas and i had started eating so much healthier and cutting back on processed foods. hell, i even stopped drinking diet coke (i know, hell may have frozen over. i still enjoy a diet soda once or twice a week). so it was important to feed my furbabies well too. which is why i've started feeding them freeze dried and frozen raw. the freeze dried is neat - i can rehydrate it with warm water so the temperature is perfect. i am experimenting with other frozen raw foods and am having mixed results.
but overall, the results are good.
so there you have it. the beginning of our raw journey. hopefully we'll see more health benefits and find a vet that doesn't treat me like an idiot for feeding raw. but that's definitely another blog post.
which is a really lame and not at all interesting way for me to tell you i'm feeding my cats a partially raw diet.
this is a controversial topic. people are used to feeding cats what's in the grocery store. they think it's okay to spend $10 on a 20 pound bag of food and call it a day. they think, cats have eaten table scraps and whatever for years and they're okay.
not quite true. dogs have been domesticated for at least 14,000 years, possibly a lot longer (i think a lot longer). there was a dna diversion from wolves up to 100,000 years ago. dogs were the first domesticated animal. they've been eating whatever fell from the table or whatever scraps we threw at them for-EVER.
cats, on the other hand.... well, if you're a cat person, you can immediately see the differences between cats and dogs. cats are not pack animals, and they do not 'recognize' a pack leader. each cat is their own leader. they'll fight with the other cats in the house whenever and wherever they feel like it. oh, cats will get along. because it's easier.
how stuff works' website has a good article about feline domestication. the article also makes an excellent point about how feral cats survive so easily. the american domestic shorthair - the cat equivalent of the mutt - makes a wonderful housepet, but can also survive very well in the wilds of long island. i know because there are tons of feral cat colonies, some of which are trapped, fixed, and returned to their colony by loving volunteers all over long island. some are fed. but the point is, there is physically and biologically nothing different between my piglet, samantha, and jake and the colonies of feral cats out there - except my brood lives in my home and is cared for by me.
although, right now, jake is chattering at the door because he can see birds on the bird feeder. which is the entire reason i bought a bird feeder. i like them being able to see the birds and remembering that I WANT TO KILL THAT AND EAT IT OMFG I'M A WILD BEAST AND I NEED TO KILLLLLLLL.
because, deep down, that's what all cats want. watch your cat hunt the little red dot; hunt its housemates; stalk the bird on the outside tree.
but don't keep your cats outside. i strongly believe that pet cats belong inside unless on supervised yard visits. i do not think that cats (or dogs) should be let out unsupervised to roam the neighborhood. of course, that's another blog.
so raw food. the BARF diet, aka bones and raw food or biologically appropriate raw food diet, is about giving the cats what they would eat in the wild, in its raw form. it entails a lot of ordering organic rabbit and having it shipped to your home for outrageous amounts of money. or finding a good local butcher who will butcher and sell you bits of chicken, quail, rabbit, duck, etc. or buying these meats yourself and bringing them home.
but a cat has specific vitamin and mineral needs. did it get all these from it's prey in the past? maybe, maybe not. of course, humans take multivitamins every day to supplement their diet and ensure they're getting the right nutrients - right? so many pet parents buy raw meats and add special supplements to make sure their cats are getting enough essential nutrients - like taurine, which is imperative for cat's health. these meats are offered in their raw form and ground up with the supplements added. with the bones and all. because bone is actually an important part of a cat's diet. calcium.
then you have very concerned pet parents like me who are lazier than that. at least, for now. and we are concerned about our cats very specific nutrient needs. so we turn to commercially prepared raw foods that have no or limited non-animal products. these are in their natural state, uncooked and unprocessed. or very minimally so. we kept researching and changing: from friskies and crap to iams (which is also crap), to blue buffalo (crap), to wellness (not too crappy, but eh) and finally i found nature's variety instinct. it's 86% animal bits and 14% veggies/fruits/minerals/vitamins. i'd prefer the 'non-meat' to be 10% or less, but this is pretty damn close. once we started feeding this kibble, which is completely grain free, we noticed a difference in the litter box. less poop. with each higher quality food we've fed the cats, we've noticed this positive change.
then we tackled the canned/wet food. i searched and searched for my picky piglet, and happened upon weruva. this food is minimally processed in a factory in thailand. i know what you're thinking: THAILAND??? REALLY? but yes. it's actually processed in a factory that processed human food as well. it's family owned - and that human food is sold in america. so it meets USDA standards. and i felt this was a good balance. the cats were pretty happy, i was pretty happy. poop was minimal. vomiting was at an all-time low.
but i wanted more, better, whole-r foods for my cats. awesome husband @_antgas and i had started eating so much healthier and cutting back on processed foods. hell, i even stopped drinking diet coke (i know, hell may have frozen over. i still enjoy a diet soda once or twice a week). so it was important to feed my furbabies well too. which is why i've started feeding them freeze dried and frozen raw. the freeze dried is neat - i can rehydrate it with warm water so the temperature is perfect. i am experimenting with other frozen raw foods and am having mixed results.
but overall, the results are good.
 |
| jake, piglet, and samantha enjoying a raw dinner |
so there you have it. the beginning of our raw journey. hopefully we'll see more health benefits and find a vet that doesn't treat me like an idiot for feeding raw. but that's definitely another blog post.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
and now i'm a college graduate. sort of.
so i finished my first two years at university of phoenix. i applied for my diploma and should have it within the next few weeks. i have an associate of arts in psychology. and i have a 3.92 GPA. which is pretty fucking sweet.
i've requested my transcripts be sent to my next school, st. joseph's college. i will be starting there this september. i'm working towards a bachelor's in community health and human services. and i'll be able to take the credentialing exam to become an alcohol and substance abuse counselor. which i'm really excited about.
i didn't get that job. the job that i used to have, that i was pretty sure i'd get. yah, didn't get it. fuck that noise. so i'm all over the interwebz throwing out applications and resumes like woah. i've had a couple of call backs and am excited to get out there. i've found some REALLY NEAT opportunities that i'm so fucking stoked about it's not even funny.
of course, i won't get THOSE jobs. i'll get, like, the basic customer service job.
but there's a not for profit on long island that works with homeless and low income people who either have or are at risk for HIV/AIDS. they are looking for a follow-up person. so the case workers/managers, you know. work and manage the case. and the follow-upper goes and checks on the people to make sure they're getting and using the benefits and shit that the mangers/workers got for them. which is really an amazing sounding job and i really want it.
i've also gotten a call back from a local cable provider (or a company that does their hiring... that better mean they provide their benefits too) and a marketing firm thingy. they're opening new offices and are looking for customer service reps and markety people and all shit like that. but i've applied for A LOT of jobs. like 53 that i have information saved on.
fifty. three. jobs.
i mean, i have to get one, right? and i'm qualified for all of them. i have years of customer service experience, data entry experience, and reception experience. i love working with people (even though i really don't LIKE most people) and am good at it. i'm self-motivating, have good time management skills, and a very professional manner.
so, i have to get one. right?
RIGHT????
because i need a new job. one with benefits. so awesome husband (@_antgas, seriously follow him because he never tweets but often puts up funny pics on instagram) can work fewer hours and lose his benefits and go to school full time. he really wants to get into school. nursing school. that will be fun. i'm excited for him and i'm excited for me. i never thought i'd be planning my future, but hey - here we are, planning our future.
i've just been so BUSY. i planned a graduation party for me and it happened last sunday. i'd love to tell you i have a fuckload of photos to post, but i don't have any. seriously, i have like no pictures of this awesome party that i planned and pulled off. there was food, a big tent, pretty floral centerpieces that i made myself, eight dozen quiche that i made myself, six dozen cupcakes that i made myself.
well, the cupcakes were from boxed mixes. but i made the frosting myself.
we also had like a gazillion pounds of fruit that @_antgas cut up. and nine liters of sangria. and 84 bottles of beer (not on a wall, they were in a cooler). and a fuckton of bottled water. and twenty 2-liter bottles of soda.
and we have like two thirds of it all left. people drank, like, 18 beers. WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE?
but we ate almost all of a 6' hero. and the majority of the quiche. so, there's that.
now @_antgas and i have buckets of sangria and beer to finish off. which will take forever.
especially because @_antgas is having surgery on monday. nothing big, people, just a little procedure. he'll be in and out of the hospital in a few hours. and will be home from work for two fucking weeks. mostly playing video games. and i'm hoping he can push a damn vacuum around too.
so. since i don't have any really exciting shit to share, feel free to look at a bunch of pictures of me and my cats, whom you know and love.
i've requested my transcripts be sent to my next school, st. joseph's college. i will be starting there this september. i'm working towards a bachelor's in community health and human services. and i'll be able to take the credentialing exam to become an alcohol and substance abuse counselor. which i'm really excited about.
i didn't get that job. the job that i used to have, that i was pretty sure i'd get. yah, didn't get it. fuck that noise. so i'm all over the interwebz throwing out applications and resumes like woah. i've had a couple of call backs and am excited to get out there. i've found some REALLY NEAT opportunities that i'm so fucking stoked about it's not even funny.
of course, i won't get THOSE jobs. i'll get, like, the basic customer service job.
but there's a not for profit on long island that works with homeless and low income people who either have or are at risk for HIV/AIDS. they are looking for a follow-up person. so the case workers/managers, you know. work and manage the case. and the follow-upper goes and checks on the people to make sure they're getting and using the benefits and shit that the mangers/workers got for them. which is really an amazing sounding job and i really want it.
i've also gotten a call back from a local cable provider (or a company that does their hiring... that better mean they provide their benefits too) and a marketing firm thingy. they're opening new offices and are looking for customer service reps and markety people and all shit like that. but i've applied for A LOT of jobs. like 53 that i have information saved on.
fifty. three. jobs.
i mean, i have to get one, right? and i'm qualified for all of them. i have years of customer service experience, data entry experience, and reception experience. i love working with people (even though i really don't LIKE most people) and am good at it. i'm self-motivating, have good time management skills, and a very professional manner.
so, i have to get one. right?
RIGHT????
because i need a new job. one with benefits. so awesome husband (@_antgas, seriously follow him because he never tweets but often puts up funny pics on instagram) can work fewer hours and lose his benefits and go to school full time. he really wants to get into school. nursing school. that will be fun. i'm excited for him and i'm excited for me. i never thought i'd be planning my future, but hey - here we are, planning our future.
i've just been so BUSY. i planned a graduation party for me and it happened last sunday. i'd love to tell you i have a fuckload of photos to post, but i don't have any. seriously, i have like no pictures of this awesome party that i planned and pulled off. there was food, a big tent, pretty floral centerpieces that i made myself, eight dozen quiche that i made myself, six dozen cupcakes that i made myself.
well, the cupcakes were from boxed mixes. but i made the frosting myself.
we also had like a gazillion pounds of fruit that @_antgas cut up. and nine liters of sangria. and 84 bottles of beer (not on a wall, they were in a cooler). and a fuckton of bottled water. and twenty 2-liter bottles of soda.
and we have like two thirds of it all left. people drank, like, 18 beers. WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE?
but we ate almost all of a 6' hero. and the majority of the quiche. so, there's that.
now @_antgas and i have buckets of sangria and beer to finish off. which will take forever.
especially because @_antgas is having surgery on monday. nothing big, people, just a little procedure. he'll be in and out of the hospital in a few hours. and will be home from work for two fucking weeks. mostly playing video games. and i'm hoping he can push a damn vacuum around too.
so. since i don't have any really exciting shit to share, feel free to look at a bunch of pictures of me and my cats, whom you know and love.
 |
| this is babyjakes blocking my bedroom door. good job. |
 |
| i am a self-professed shoe whore. i love these shoes. i have walked in the lace-patterned ones, not the black booties yet. we'll see. |
 |
| OMFG BABYJAKES. he's too cute. |
 |
| samantha cat, lounging |
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| samantha and i, snuggletime on the couch |
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| piggy mama, being adorable as always |
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| me, on my way to my brother's engagement party |
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| me again, at my brother's engagement party |
 |
| thanks to my coworker. i wasn't sure it was a trap. glad i know now. |
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| sammy baby sleeping on her daddy's (@_antgas) pillow |
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| babycat jake after knocking over the cat toy box |
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| my most recent tattoo addition. bonus points if you can tell me where it's from. |
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| me wearing an apron. i was making a lot of fucking mini quiche. |
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| my graduation party |
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| sammy baby in her new collar. there are lady bugs on it. |
Monday, September 13, 2010
weekend update
i know, a totally unoriginal title. do you know how hard it is coming up with witty shit for my blog titles? i'd just as soon name them after rocks or elements on the periodic table. fuckers.
item 1: 9/11/10 passed and another year went by of people clamoring for a federal holiday, or for no mosques near ground zero. or went around spewing hatred or intolerance or whatever. and i think two things every year on 9/11. one is gratitude that my grandfather didn't live to see 9/11 (he died weeks before). the other is that the terrorists are winning.
no, seriously. as long as we hate each other for stupid things like skin color, religious beliefs, sexual preference, or whether you like backstreet boys or n*sync (i know, not terribly relevant in 2010, but you get the idea) the terrorists are winning. as long as people try to get 9/11 recognized as a national holiday, where we shut everything down and have parades and barbecue, the terrorists are winning.
how do we keep the terrorists from winning, i hear you cry. easy. LOVE EACH OTHER. TOLERATE AND CELEBRATE THE DIFFERENCES THAT MAKE US ALL ROCK. and STOP HATING SHIT! whether you hate blacks, gays, jews, redheads, droids, virgos, or twi-hards, just fucking stop it. we don't have to be a warm, fuzzy country where we all cuddle glenn beck and spoon with sarah palin, but we can't spread hate and violence and intolerance like we do. all religions basically boil down to that golden rule - do unto others as you'd have done unto you.
then go spend some money and stimulate the economy, like i did in....
item 2: i went shopping. saturday AND sunday. i had a $25 off $50 purchase coupon for my fave big girl clothing store that expired yesterday. i went to the store and didn't see what i wanted. i went online and didn't see what i wanted. so i compromised and went BACK to the mall yesterday to buy my compromise in store to avoid the $8 shipping fee online. $104 worth of clothes for $56 after tax. not bad.
item 3: i made it through my first week of college. back in 1997, the first time i tried this college thing, i lasted 6 days. and i'm actually really excited still. i kind of hope that my classmates learn proper grammar and how to turn on spell check soon. and learn how to follow directions. so it's mostly like high school again right now. i'm looking forward to when it picks up a bit - it's still a lot of basic info right now. i'm interested in getting started on researching my essay topic (which i talk about briefly here).
item 4: i just today received my new package from my fave body jewelry store online. i'm stretching my ear lobes to a 6g tonight, and i got cute little o-rings shaped like flowers and stars for my 16g seconds. i bet i'll have photos soon.
item 5: my twin half-sisters turn 14 today. they don't read this, so i won't bother saying happy birthday. but it does make me feel a bit older. they were born my senior year of high school, and they're in high school themselves this year. i'm super excited that they're growing up though, and i feel like we've got a pretty good relationship now. i hope that when i move back to new york, we can have an even awesomer relationship.
yes, i totally made up the word 'awesomer'. fucking deal with it.
item 6: my aunt motherfucking becky over at mommy wants vodka gave me the go ahead tosteal borrow her copyright tag. i totally gave her credit, and now everyone knows that if they steal from my blog, they'll get herpes. FUCK YEAH.
but actual people herpes. not cat herpes like piglet has. so, yeah. you've been warned.
item 7: i'm up to 28 followers. i think this is fucking brilliant and am continuing on my quest to get B.O.N.ed (blog of note) at some point in time. i will warn you that i might start capitalizing on your clickiness soon and start showing an ad or two.
hey, i'm a stay at home cat mom who doesn't work. that new imac isn't going to pay for itself.
item 1: 9/11/10 passed and another year went by of people clamoring for a federal holiday, or for no mosques near ground zero. or went around spewing hatred or intolerance or whatever. and i think two things every year on 9/11. one is gratitude that my grandfather didn't live to see 9/11 (he died weeks before). the other is that the terrorists are winning.
no, seriously. as long as we hate each other for stupid things like skin color, religious beliefs, sexual preference, or whether you like backstreet boys or n*sync (i know, not terribly relevant in 2010, but you get the idea) the terrorists are winning. as long as people try to get 9/11 recognized as a national holiday, where we shut everything down and have parades and barbecue, the terrorists are winning.
how do we keep the terrorists from winning, i hear you cry. easy. LOVE EACH OTHER. TOLERATE AND CELEBRATE THE DIFFERENCES THAT MAKE US ALL ROCK. and STOP HATING SHIT! whether you hate blacks, gays, jews, redheads, droids, virgos, or twi-hards, just fucking stop it. we don't have to be a warm, fuzzy country where we all cuddle glenn beck and spoon with sarah palin, but we can't spread hate and violence and intolerance like we do. all religions basically boil down to that golden rule - do unto others as you'd have done unto you.
then go spend some money and stimulate the economy, like i did in....
item 2: i went shopping. saturday AND sunday. i had a $25 off $50 purchase coupon for my fave big girl clothing store that expired yesterday. i went to the store and didn't see what i wanted. i went online and didn't see what i wanted. so i compromised and went BACK to the mall yesterday to buy my compromise in store to avoid the $8 shipping fee online. $104 worth of clothes for $56 after tax. not bad.
item 3: i made it through my first week of college. back in 1997, the first time i tried this college thing, i lasted 6 days. and i'm actually really excited still. i kind of hope that my classmates learn proper grammar and how to turn on spell check soon. and learn how to follow directions. so it's mostly like high school again right now. i'm looking forward to when it picks up a bit - it's still a lot of basic info right now. i'm interested in getting started on researching my essay topic (which i talk about briefly here).
item 4: i just today received my new package from my fave body jewelry store online. i'm stretching my ear lobes to a 6g tonight, and i got cute little o-rings shaped like flowers and stars for my 16g seconds. i bet i'll have photos soon.
item 5: my twin half-sisters turn 14 today. they don't read this, so i won't bother saying happy birthday. but it does make me feel a bit older. they were born my senior year of high school, and they're in high school themselves this year. i'm super excited that they're growing up though, and i feel like we've got a pretty good relationship now. i hope that when i move back to new york, we can have an even awesomer relationship.
yes, i totally made up the word 'awesomer'. fucking deal with it.
item 6: my aunt motherfucking becky over at mommy wants vodka gave me the go ahead to
but actual people herpes. not cat herpes like piglet has. so, yeah. you've been warned.
item 7: i'm up to 28 followers. i think this is fucking brilliant and am continuing on my quest to get B.O.N.ed (blog of note) at some point in time. i will warn you that i might start capitalizing on your clickiness soon and start showing an ad or two.
hey, i'm a stay at home cat mom who doesn't work. that new imac isn't going to pay for itself.
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